WeLcoMe To mY wOrLd

Hi… sorry, coz  lama tak update.. ni pun update sebab nak share something pasal hati dan perasaan..cewahh ayat tak bleh bla..

Hmm 5 tahun, tempoh aku menyeksa diri dan jiwa raga aku.. memendam perasaan menyukai seseorang yang tidak mungkin menjadi milik aku.. dah banyak kali pun patah hati, tapi aku tetap degil untuk terus memendam perasaan..akhirnya, aku sendiri yang kecewa..

aku rasa macam dah buang masa dan kudrat selama 5 tahun untuk sesuatu yang sia2.. kalau diberi peluang untuk kembali kepada 5 tahun yang lalu, pastinya aku akan memilih untuk tidak mengenali dia..

kalau dulu, bolehlah aku akui yang aku bersyukur sebab dapat mengenali dia..dunia dia.. tapi sekarang aku rasa menyesal, sebab terlalu “taksub” dengan dunia dia..sedangkan dia tidak sedikit pun hirau dengan dunia aku..

pernahkah dia menunjukkan minat dikala aku bercerita perihal keluarga aku? seperti mana aku berminat mendengar segala kisah suka duka dia..

aku ni dah la memang jenis yang tak banyak cakap, biler aku excited nak share something, either dia bagi respon yang so-so or terus mencelah..end up aku yang kena dengar cerita dia..

pernahkah dia se’excited’ aku untuk meraikan hari jadi? tidak sekali.. even birthday tahun ni pun dia tak wish aku secara personally..

aku tak tahu lah adakah aku dikira “lucky” coz dapat mengenali dia secara rapat.. bagi aku tidak.. aku paling tidak suka lihat the other side of him.. dimana klau dia bad mood, depan orang lain dia ok..tapi depan aku muka macam nak makan orang.. aku dah ler fail dalam bab2 memujuk ni..end up aku sendiri yang bad mood..

aku rasa kalau diberi pilihan, dia pun tak minta pun nak rapat dengan aku kan.. yang pasti aku cuma insan yang akan dicari bila dia dalam masalah..even masa last day before aku meninggalkan sabah, dia just cari aku untuk uruskan hal tiket.. aku ingat dapatlah nak spent some time with him for the last time kan.. tapi tengoklah ape yang terjadi.. memang terkilan giler la..

aku ada lah juga send goodbye sms for him..panjang berjela aku taip..dia plak balas dgn mms..masalahnye, hp aku tu kan tak bleh nak buka mms.. biler aku bgi tau psal tu, dia just ckp tngu aku beli hp baru baca.. mmg buat lawak la.. sampai ke sudah aku tak tau ape isi mms tu.. yelah, mms tu dah expired pun klau nak tunggu aku beli hp baru.. huh.. peduli la.. yang pasti it meant nothing for me pun kan..lgipun dia nmpak mcm kisah tak kisah je klau aku dpt buka mms tu ke tidak.. so lantak la kan..

yang pasti sekarang, aku dah tahu dimanakah kedudukan aku di hati dia.. memang takde ruang lansung…aku pun sepatutnya mengosongkan kembali ruang di hati aku yang pernah terisi oleh dia..

aku dapat rasa yang dia tahu aku mempunyai perasaan dekat dia..tapi dia just buat bodoh je..WHY? sebab dia langsung takde perasaan dekat aku..simple as that.. aku dah tau sangat ayat keramat dia.. “salahkah berbuat baik dekat seseorang'? tapi klau difikirkan btol2, dia yang dulu mengheret aku ke lembah ni.. dia yang mula2 mencetuskan semua kontroversi ni.. did he ever forget about that??? yang aku pun satu, mudah sangat jatuh hati.. sekarang merana sorang2..padan muka..huh!

so starting today, i want to forget everything related to him.. klau boleh nama dia pun aku tak nak ingat.. aku rasa tak susah mane pun nak buat.. lagipun lepas ni aku takkan jumpa dia lagi kan.. hopefully.. klau ditakdirkan satu tempat kerja pun nanti, aku takkan mengulangi kesilapan bodoh aku ni.. i will bear in mind for all the pain that i got from my stupidity..

It is time to start a new chapter!!! woohooo!! =)

 

yaaaaaa WHY!!!?????????????

u think that our toilet is the automatic type mehh!!?

seriously i really dun get it!

is it too hard for u people to “FLUSH” after pee??

does it really use most of ur ATP??

haaaiizzzz

pleaseee la people

u even a medical students what..

such a shame la if u even dun know the basic of hygiene!

 

k bye!

Hi! kali ni nak share sebuah lagu dengan korang :) tajuk dia “Teman Pengganti” nyanyian Black ft Malique.. ekceli lagu ni dah lame pun dekat radio, tapi baru2 ni je aku mula addicted..

at 1st tu tak minat pun dengan lagu ni, layan macam tu je..tp ntah mcm mane masa kluar dgn dorang ra hari tu, asyik lagu ni je yang diputar oleh radio pemes hot fm tu.. lame2 lagu tu dok terngiang2 dekat telinga..

ditambah lagi biler dorang ckp yang lagu ni mcm menceritakan psal org nak bunuh diri..so aku pun try la nak menghayati lirik dia kan, tp masa dengar tu just faham part “black” je lah..part malique tu (rap) sepatah ape tak paham..macam2 perkataan kluar..pening kpala otak try nak proses maksud lagu tu..

so end up, aku pun trus ler cari lirik lagu ni dan try sehabis baik ntuk memahaminya..

sekali bace…

BLUR..

tak paham aku part rap tu..

tapi biler dengar banyak kali sambil2 layan lirik sekali, rase macam dpt feel plak unsur2 kesedihan yang cuba disampaikan..

biler dah dapat feel tu, dari pemahaman aku sendiri, aku ingat yang laki ni kononnya ade HIV dan dia start ingat semua kenangan lama dgn sang kekasih..dia tahu yang dia akan pergi menghadap Illahi  tak lama lagi dan demi kebahagiaan sang kekasihnya dia pun mengharapkan yang kekasih dia akan mencari pengganti dirinya..

tapi ekceli byk version maksud disebalik lirik tu..ade org ckp ekceli lagu tu mengisahkan  sang suami yang ade penyakit jantung

“Tubuh makin susut, menunggu tarikh luput
Komplikasi di halaman rusuk kiri
Makin sukar nak bernafas, nak bergerak, nak berdiri”

part tu mcm refer psal sakit jantung kan?

pastu ade org ckp lagu ni pasal banduan yang bakal dikenakan hukuman mati sebab lirik dia…

”70 000 hijab harus ku singkap
Ku sorok kitab balik tingkap penjara hinggap”

tapi ade org ckp “penjara hinggap” tu just refer sbgai dunia je..haha macam2 ler kan..tak kisah ler sakit jantung ke HIV ke, yang pasti si lelaki ni memang tahu yang dia takkan hidup lama dan bakal bertemu dengan Sang Pencipta tak lama lagi..

ada satu part ni klau amati betul2 memang sedey je huhu

“Jaga diri, jangan makan hati
Yang patah kan tumbuh, yang hilang kan berganti
Bilik dah ku kemas, katil dah ku rapi
Cincin, kunci, dompet dalam laci
Ada sikit wang, itu saja baki
Moga-moga cukup untuk majlis itu nanti”

sebelum pergi lelaki tu dah tinggalkan semua kelengkapan esp duit untuk kegunaan kenduri arwah dia nanti..

sob3 T^T sedey kan…

skang ni 24/7 asyik dengar lagu ni je (bukan takat dengar je, siap test vokal skali haha)

hee mmg best nyanyi part rap dia..lagipun part rap tu slow je takde lah laju giler smpai terkumat kamit mulut nak menyebutnya..

paling best part ni..

“Hanya kau yang tahu kodeksku yang kompleks
Dalam disleksia cuba kekal dalam konteks”

haa nmpak tu perkataan “dyslexia” jgn main2…kelas gitu lagu malique >.<

hoho ekceli the main point yang aku cuba sampaikan kat sini adalah~~~

aku dah master lagu ni hahahahahaha

agak2 ade peluang kot nak ganti malique nnti  huahuahua

 

sorry~ terbuat korang menyampah plak :p

 

p/s: len kali nak try nyanyi lagu ni kat kbox..hrp2 ader la hik3

    

 

 

Ketawa bersama
Menangis bersama
Ku bersumpah harap kita
Mati pun bersama

Sejak dua menjak ini
Makin kerap ku diganggu visi
Bila celik, juga bila mimpi
Aku nampak kau, tapi bukan aku yang di sisi
Dia membelaimu dengan izin dan permisi
Sentuhan katanya semuanya kau iakan
Sentuhan jari kau diamkan dan biarkan
Aku redha walau tidak ku damba
Walau hampa semuanya dah dijangka

Beberapa purnama dulu cinta bertahta
Kenangan dibina kita indah belaka
Ketawa bersama, menangis bersama
Ku bersumpah harap kita mati pun bersama
Namun hakikatnya, bukan mudah
Aku sembunyikan gulana-gundah
Segalanya kan berubah
Dengarkan apa yang ku mahu luah

*Rahsia ini
Telah lama ku pendamkan
Tiba masanya
Segala-galanya
Ku ceritakan
Aku kan pergi
Pergi ku tak akan kembali
Tiba masanya
Kau cari teman pengganti

Dalam dunia yang maya, prejudis dan bias
Kita tak terlepas dari terkena tempias
Rimas, ditindas, sembunyi dalam puisi dan kias
Tidak kau bidas, tak berpaling walau sekilas
Hanya kau yang tahu kodeksku yang kompleks
Dalam disleksia cuba kekal dalam konteks
Bila dunia seolah tak memahami
Kau sudi selami, dalami dan mengalami
Setia mendengar, sentiasa hadir
Ingat setiap ulangtahun, setiap hari lahir
Tiba pagi Syawal, kaulah yang terawal
Syawal yang terakhir ini pasti rasa janggal

70 000 hijab harus ku singkap
Ku sorok kitab balik tingkap penjara hinggap
Dalam diam ada, seorang yang ku puja
Kau teristimewa tapi dia yang sempurna

Ulang *

Sejak dua menjak ini, ku mencari fungsi kewujudan
Dalam persekitaran yang penuh kejumudan
Terperangkap dalam jasad, ku keliru
Mujur ada kau si peneutralisasi pilu
Namun aku tetap murung, berkurung
Tubuh makin susut, menunggu tarikh luput
Komplikasi di halaman rusuk kiri
Makin sukar nak bernafas, nak bergerak, nak berdiri

Lagu ini yang terakhir aku sajikan
Kalau rindu nanti bolehlah kau nyanyikan
Jaga diri, jangan makan hati
Yang patah kan tumbuh, yang hilang kan berganti
Bilik dah ku kemas, katil dah ku rapi
Cincin, kunci, dompet dalam laci
Ada sikit wang, itu saja baki
Moga-moga cukup untuk majlis itu nanti
Aku kan pergi

Bertemu kekasih abadi
Tiba masanya
Kau cari teman pengganti

 

p/s: out of topic jap..

hari ni aku pergi “Borneo Surgical Delight Meeting”..aduyai brain hypoxia dengar lecture dari pukul 1-6pm tadi..dlm 10 speakers tu,bagi aku lecture Dr Lum jek yang best dan menarik..Dr talk bout “Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma”, siap include byk video..hee short & nice presentation :)

lecture lain plak esp bab2 statistic tu sume aku sepatah haram tak paham @.@.. nasib je aku tak tertido, just byk spent time main game jek haha..(btw td ade org tertido siap berdengkur lgi..aduyai tak tau ler sape yg bertuah tu =.=)

btw rase bertuah ler jugak coz dpt tgk president FRCS (Mr David Tolley) depan mata..biler lagi nak dpt peluang tu kan..yelah aku bukan berminat nak jadi surgeon pun..klau nak jadi specialist pun, aku dah decide nak ikut jejak langkah dr naim hik3 >.<

“Fellowship of Royal College of Physicians Edinburgh” - RCPE

hahaha besar betul cita2..

haizz ape2pun aku kena makesure yang aku PASS PROFESIONAL EXAM II dulu sebelum menyimpan angan2 yang super tinggi itu..

hopefully we all can make it!!

ganbatte ne minna!!

oh ye sblom aku menamatkan entry ni, nak crite lgi satu benda..haha maafler byk plak benda nak story dgn korang ni..

tadi byk btol org datang mai bilik..cik nisa & cik timah dtg bagi buah tgn dari semenanjung :)) thanks!! pastu cik ra pun dtg bgi “buah tgn” jugak..hahaha tp dlm bentuk lain ler..

nak tau ape??

aku kene jadi sub gp leader ntuk OG nnti…

  

oh em gee!!

ekceli kat fb skang ni tgh rancak buat pilihan raye dok pilih ketua..so far takde lgi org nak jadi ketua posting surgery..ra plak mcm decide nak jdi sub gp leader surg..so dia tnya lah klau aku nak jdi sub gp leader ntuk OG nnti..

aku pun “oh OK”

ekceli dlm hati menjerit tak nak~~~~

but what to do..

dlm gp kmi tngal aku, cik ra ngan mr keneth je lgi yg still bersenang lenang takde jawatan..

so…

ok lah…

k Bye!

 left 2 pieces and it’s gonna complete in few sec!!!

 

and tadaaaa~~!!

 

Finally!!! wooohoooo i made it!!

I had completed this super cute cats puzzle

weeee~~!!!

congrats to me!!    

 

P/s: It’s worth to try and error hik3 >_<

and now i’m feeling so damn sleepy zzzZZzzz

k bye!

ok lets talk bout holiday ^_^ (that’s not an exact expression of mine haha)

hmm its my 1st time to spent my 1 week holiday alone..not exactly la, actually if i go back home pun i will lock myself in the room and enjoying watching movies & online..huhu but at least there’s time i still can spent time with my dear family..okey, so now i’m so damn miss my mom’s cooking T^T

so, what did i do during this holiday??

NOTHING but just spent the whole time in my room watching movies & online..actually i did planned to go outing, yeahh macam je tak pernah keluar lepak sengsorang sebelum ni kan..but dunno lah, suddenly rase macam takut plak nak kluar sorang2 =.= somemore this few days it keep on raining non-stop..so definitely no mood la to outing..haizz now baru nak menyesal coz din have driving licence..if got, confirm i wont spending time in the room the whole week!!

so these are my activities…

MOVIES

i guess i layan too much thriller movies until i got “sick” of it.. in other ways i think i ady “immune” with that kind of movies..so i bet next time definitely difficult for me to feel satisfy or impress with the future thriller movie..yalah almost every movie have the typical “zombie” feature in killing people.. sampaikan tengok rupe mayat pun dah takde feel..oh emm gee i guess i become “cold heart”  ady.. my fear-ness or sympathy feeling have gone =.=  (i shud stop watching this kind of movies for awhile to re-install the “fear” feeling in me haha)

below are some of the movies that i layan..

REC3 Genesis - typical zombie style movie, for me there’s no sense of horror pun.. more on the killing2 chopping2 bitting2 something like that la.. yeahh something that people will say “eeeuuwww” but not me la of coz hahaha.. p/s: but i like the hero & heroin coz they are good looking..the heroin also iras2 the heroin in the resident evil ^^

247 ‘F - it said based on true event..omo poor la for those which really trapped in the sauna.. definitely burnt like a roasted chicken =.=.. hmm for me this movie not so interesting la..the whole story only focus on these 3 fella trying to get out from the sauna room where they’re trapped inside with the room temperature almost can burnt them alive tsk tsk tsk..actually it all happen because of the drunk guy accidentally blocked the door with a ladder..haizz i tot there are some sabotaj thing like the uncle planning to kill them..so mmg tak thrill la..boring movie @.@ somemore i get so damn irritated with the girls acting which non-stop shouting and panicking out..oh goshh sooo stressed!! (like gary oppa hehe)

The Tall Man - i tot it’s a thriller movie??? why they tag this movie as “thriller” then? hayoo if not i definitely not gonna download this movie.. hmm it’s actually a mystery kind of movie..erm quite suspense also..haizz the plot really make the viewer included me feel confused!! i guess that’s the main intention rite? haha i almost tricked by the movie @.@ hmm actually ady tricked what.. hayoo but it’s definitely unique la.. so that’s was the reason why the children keep on missing one by one..duhh the “heroin” kidnapped all the children and sent them to adopt family so that the children can lead a better life rather than keep on live in the same “cycle” of life which surrounding by poorness, drugs, abuse and etc..

 

Dark Flight - thai horror movie.. lol for me not horror pun..more on comedy horror kot..but takdelah lawak mane pun!! hayoo stress! really waste of time la layan this movie.. yang tak boleh bla biler sami pun dok takut dgn hantu..what la!! end up also died =.= yang sengalnye dorang bukan mati sebab hantu tapi sebab kena bunuh lol!! dah macam thriller pun ade..actually if people dun have any high expectation, they maybe enjoyed watching this..but not me ~.~

Laddaland - another thai horror movie..this time really horror la..no unsur2 comedy k.. hmm but the horror-ness i guess for me 3/5 kot.. ok lah typical ghost story…it’s bout a family live in a neighbourhood that have many homicide and suicide cases..this story also focus on the family conflict that involved the father and his daughter..huhu but the ending a bit sad la when the father determined to suicide when he accidentally had shot his son where he think he actually shot the “ghost”..but the son not die pun..huhu kesian..

 

Nongkrong - i watched this because of Shaheizy Sam.. nasib tak tengok kat cinema..buat habis duit je.. takde la kelakar mane pun.. typical la malay comedy horror…hantu pun “mekap” macam tak rupe hantu.. tak seram okey!

 

Saya. Amat. Mencintaimu (S.A.M) - yeahh once again bcoz of Sam..dulu briye nak tgk dekat cinema, haha i guess i have safe RM5 also this time ^^ (hoho sarcastic giler) hmm actually ok la kot movie ni..klau nak diikutkan jarang crite melayu ade genre macam ni kan.. tapi masalahnye~crite omputih dah berlambak genre macam ni..so memang senang giler nak agak jalan crite ni..takde la like “oh shit! rupenye dialah penjahat itu” hahaha sorry mr director, u failed to amazed me :p .. “psycho-thriller” type..nice try by the way >.<

   

Seram Sejuk - just finished watching it.. totally crapped.. duh i din believe i actually watched it T^T (what to do la, just to kill time haha) somemore why la almost all the horror movie definitely got “Angah” inside..boring kot! please la go find another actors.. 

 

beside all those bangang movies that i watched, i actually enjoy these 2 dramas..

 

MR BRAIN - Japanese Drama in 2009

haha only in year 2012,yeaahh after 3 years!! i just realized about the existence of this awesome drama!! actually this drama ady “terperap” since 1st year in my hard disc =.= dunno lah why i did not try to watch it earlier.. such a waste haha.. so thanks to my boring holiday where have give me a chance to watch it hehe =)

at first i tot nanba senpai (mizushima hiro) is the hero..it turn out to be that long hair guy (Kimura Takuya)..hehe ok lah, i thinks his quite cute also ngeee ^__^ so this drama is all about how brilliance this Tsukumo san (neuroscientist) in helping the cops in solving all those homicide cases.. oh yeahh another favourite genre of me..other than thriller i also love the detective and mystery kind of movie/drama.. such a waste coz it only have 8 episodes.. i want more!! haizz really miss to see the character of Tsukumo san..really funny la him, terloncat sana sini like a small kid =.= somemore like to eat banana..hik3 now i’m also craving for banana..

haizz see lah his “crazy look” so funny kan?

oh he actually the member of SMAP  (Johnny entertainment) so same company with NEWS huh.. ^^ haizz only now i knew.. btw he ady 40 years old @.@ no worry still handsome!!

 

Mizushima Hiro

(remember Nanba senpai in Hanakimi?? oh love him so much!)

 

oh not to forget Kamenashi Kazuya (Kat-tun) and Nakama Yukie (the 1 who star in gokusen - the teacher!!) also become the suspect in this drama..hehe kakkoooii neh kamenashi <3<3<3 he look smart with spectacles ~.~ (actually before this i dun think he is handsome/cute pun although he is the hero in the drama which i super like before “Yamato nadeshiko shichi henge”)

oh em gee!! kakkooii ne?? <3<3<3  

Yamato nadeshiko shichi henge - i think i did described bout this drama in my old entry before.. super love this drama also..1 of the reason is because of “Tegoshi Yuya” <3 (that time not really interested in Kazuya although he was the lead actor hik3)

Nakama Yukie

(Yamaguchi sensei in Gokusen! dun tell me u guys never saw this drama before..if not u guys definitely have to watch it!)

 

Flower Boy Ramyun Shop - Korean Drama 2011

ok lets move on this korean drama plak.. actually i really craving for some korean drama because last drama that i watched was “Heartstring”.. Fira’s did introduced lots of drama for me.. but i dun seem to be interested..haizz bcoz most of it dun have the hero/heroin that i know..haha that’s me..i usually watch drama that have the familiar faces and most important thing they have to be cute and handsome!! if not, i also dun have any appetite to watch laa hik3..

before i found bout this drama, i try to watch “Kpop Survival”.. hmm not interested..just managed to watch half of the 1st episode.. “Greatest Love” the drama that Fira’s and Sifu love so much..haizz i just go through it  randomly (direct from Myn’s hard disc, haha i dun even copy that drama ok!) and the storyline seemed interesting..but the hero/heroin really not my type la..i guess if Jang Geun Suk become the hero, it would be better..haha just my 50cent..dun angry ya..

finally i try to watch FBRS.. 1st ep hmm ok la.. the heroin not so pretty but still okey la..the hero plak hmm boleh tahan..2nd hero also boleh tahan..so i decide to watch it! actually this drama not really thrill or give me some kind of “wow factor”..but just for reason to kill time, i guess boleh layan la..

btw till now i only watched till 12 ep..got 4 more to go but i dun seemed to have mood to continue it..dunno la maybe the storyline is too slow kot..some more its just a typical romantic comedy korean drama..so u will expect something like a super arrogant guy which at last fall in love with this naive girl and there come another guy that also at the same time fall in love with the same girl..its so typical rite?? hayoo i bet at the end definitely la the girl gonna live happily ever after with the 1st hero..definitely punya!!

dunno lah whether i managed to finish it or not..depends on my mood haha..btw the hero Jung II Woo is 25 years old!! i tot his younger than me..haha so can call him “oppa” lohh hoho :p

 

Jung II Woo (he also star in “The Moon That Embraces The Sun” - if not mistaken i did saw this drama in someone hard disc??)

 

RUNNING MAN EP117 - Riddle Race

*beware of some spoiler hik3*

i almost forgot to download this latest episode due to over busy enjoying all those movies..haizz… so what i love in this episode is all about GARY OPPA!! although there’s no scenes of  “monday couple”, but Gary did “show off” a lot in this ep..hehe yeaahh gary oppa jjanggg!!

we all well known with his super blurr character (haha same as miss Mong), but he definitely have shown his awesone-ness part this time!! omona!! especially in the last game part where they all need to do the “jumping” part (haiz dunno how to call it)..hehe and our gary look so damn cool in this game..despite of his shortness, he actually did the longest jump compare to others ^_^ (if not mistaken la, even commander also kalah hoho)..so tak boleh blah when he do the “cool pose” after finish the jump >_<

 

see la his “arrogant look” haha XD

this part also got some funny scene involved our gary when he mentioned that running man actually have improved his knowledge skill..lol that’s all because of the “true false” game where he managed to get correct answer and others just doubted that he can get it correct (yalah, we all know gary rite haha)..u know what..gary just told actually last time in the same game the question was the same..hahaha so it’s kinda like he had learnt his mistake la..

somemore in the last mission where they need to unfold the riddle, gary also one of the fastest (among his members la) to figure it out..hehe actually other teams also managed to figure it out earlier @.@ but who cares~~~ hehehe because at last Gary’s team won!! woohooo daebakkk!! (anyway thanks to jae suk oppa because help the team to keep on scoring in the KU JI BA (rock scissor paper)  battle ^_^)

btw cant wait for the next episode because Choi Min Soo will be the guest!! hoho running man’s members sure cant breathe normally especially our grasshopper hik3..beware!!! it’s gonna be thrill!! hoho

his back to hunt running man!!

 

lol… looks like this entry more like a movies review!! haizz sorry la, i planned to write it short and sweet..but u guys know me rite..the more i write the more i have ideas to keep on writing  =.=”

soooo… finished with the movies part…lets move on other activities that i do this whole 1 week ^^

SLEEP

haha i sure slept a lot!! yeahh “qada” tido ler katekan..memang puas giler tido..hari2 pun bangun tengah hari..what a life! but need to control myself because the holiday gonna end soon..so no more sleep till noon okey!! haizz

 

EAT

oh cute kan this cat?? soo this is another important thing that we all do everyday..haha EAT!! we eat to live maa..

since i din have transport to go out find food..so my everyday meal definitely will be MAGGI!! (got 1 time when to cafe, but the food, hmm i think better to eat maggi laa haha)

yummy!! (desperate punye pasal la terpaksa ckp yummy..huhu klau dekat rumah manade can nak makan megi ni sume..huuuu really miss my mom’s cooking T.T)

 

actually got few times la i went out eat with ra and the others..just now pun going out having steamboat in Tg Lipat..hehe thanks to Amyrah Marzuki (along) because so kind belanja us tonite <3 hmm not bad leh the price, 1 set of steamboat only cost for RM38.. i think enuff la for 5-8 people..just now, we (8 people) also order i set, but they did bring some extra hotdogs!! lol! tak boleh blah betol..sempat tu seludup bahan mentah lain =.=”..nasib tuan kedai tak bagi extra charge hik3

hehe planning to eat with u guys some other time!! okey?? and i think i know where the location of the “Burger Bakar” in Tg Aru..just now ady get some info from them hehe..hmm but for sure need to wait JPA first la :)

 

JIGSAW PUZZLE

 

haha its been awhile i play this kind of “game”..thanks to Miss Fira coz bought me this puzzle so that i got something to do during the holiday haha.. actually before this i manage to solve many puzzles but  it’s kinda cheating la because at the back of the puzzle got “numbers” so i just need to arrange based on the numbers..but this time..haizz quite challenging la because no clue at all..really need to solve it using naked eyes..hayoo almost juling ady because keep on staring at those puzzles~~~ @.@

1st of all definitely need to separate them into the same colour

then proceed by making the frame first..haha this is the easiest part..

 Huh ok till now i only managed to solve until this part…huuu soo stress la because the remnants part is the most difficult part..look at it..bayang kucing pun takde kan..susah ler!! most of it got the same colour, i even could not differentiate which part is for the legs, body, face..haizz only can figure the eyes part =.=”

huhuhu someone please help me to solve it!!! stressss!!

 

ONLINE

Most of the time i spent on blogwalking..hehe yeahh randomly read some random people blog.. quite enjoyable la, like watching some kind of TV drama haha..did found out this one cool blog

http://www.faizalbobby.com 

which the blogger is the medical doctor that working in Egypt..he is malaysian..the way he expressing his experience during working really unique..he write it like a short story style but realistic ok! really nice to read..try ler usha..but sayangnya his last post was a year ago..hopefully he will continue to write again..

other blogs that i like to stalk is just a personal blog from random people..hehe oh well it’s kinda interesting to read about other’s life although we dun have any idea who are they haha..lol jah giler kan..

btw there’s a blogger that ady get married a year ago..but u know what she actually had break up with her ex-bf where they known for 6 years and few months later she engaged and at the end of 2011 get married with her hubby..

so what i’m trying to say is,  Jodoh pertemuan memang di tangan tuhan kan.. walau selama mane pun kita kapel dengan seseorang tu, kalau memang dia tak ditakdirkan untuk kita, pasti akan terlerai jugak ikatan tu suatu hari nanti..sesungguhnya tuhan lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kita :)

so, beside blogwalking, mostly i spent time to read news (haha so old skool lah me) and funny stuff like 9gags and LOL pages.. well as for facebook plak, i rarely open it..haha i actually still able to live without fb ^^.. hmm rite now really want to abstinence from fb, because i dun like to see other people post about how fun they are and how enjoyable they are because able to spent time with their family or go for vacation during this holiday.. it make me sick.. haizz i dun care laa what u all think about me..am i jealous? oh yeah of coz la.. who the hell love to spent their holiday alone kan.. hmm but nevermind la, at least i still can survive until now haha..i tot i’ll spending time meratapi nasib and cry everyday.. actually love to but the tears ady out of stock =.= hahaha i guess my lacrimal glands  are trying their best to produce more tears for the future usage..ermmm but hopefully i dun really need it laa..

sorry ter-EMO plak -.-!

 

H.O.P.E

so before i end this post, i just wanna to say that i’m really sorry because i have hurt u guys a lot.. i realized that i’m such a selfish because spending too much time with that fella and only spent a limit time with u guys..that’s all because i put him as my first priority in every decision that i made.. haizz so jahat kan me.. i really hope that u guys can accept me back T_T

hmm about me and him.. i decide to throw away the feeling that i used to have..lol dulu pun dah banyak kali buang but still come back..but this time i’m sure it will not return again..yalah left 5 months for professional exam ok!! i better focus on study rather than think of him..but we still stay friend i guess but not gonna close as before..

so here we go..5 months left for us to spent time together… i really hope that we can treasure this 5 months together and leaves some good memories to be memorize in the future :)

next holiday jom go for trip to Kundasang again!! and somewhere else in this state that we haven’t treasure before..oh yeahh Tenom??Manukan trip?? anywhere lah as long as we can create good memory together :)) <3

maybe we shud 1st walk around the whole UMS esp the ODEC!! because we never been there together rite?

hopefully it will not be left for just a H.O.P.E only..lets make it come true =)

Holla!! at last i got mood to update my blog.. before i write bout my super boring holiday, let me recap about the exam 1st..

Theory: the MCQ was supeeeerrrr hard!! i dun think there’s qs that i able to answer confidently…most of it i just hentam saje T^T (dr shaila once convince us that the qs actually 60% are easy and for everyone’s level..i bet she’s must be kidding rite?? duhh) btw as for the MEQ i guess still ok la..act got 1 qs that i totally blank..dunno wat to crap..its actually bout the “tumor lysis syndrome”…1st glance of the qs actually i did think of it, but i juz ignore it & focus on other qs before go back to that qs..end up i didnt have enuff time to review back @.@ (i also juz realize that the qs act same as past year..lol!!) lastly bout the LEQ, hehe i think a bit confidence on my LEQ this time..dunno maybe bcoz the new style of answering make me have much time to think and not panic =.= (but , i almost lost FREE marks when i didnt realize the qs actually got 2 sheets!! lol!! patutla everyone still writing non-stop..i tot why the hell they’re still writing when the qs only asking about differential diagnosis!!?? haha i juz realize bout the 2nd sheet when the time left less than 5 minutes i guess..and the qs that i actually need to answer was bout the management of  Hyperosmolar Hyperglycemia Non Ketotic Coma… u guys dunno how fast my hands and brain worked at that time..fuh nasib siap on time!)

haha i guess i looked like this boy kot XD

 

OSCE:

10 - my 1st station “shingles”..hehe nasib “sempat diskus”, if not i really dunno what i’m gonna crap about the picture that showing the skin lesion..

1 - ECG : “anteroseptal ST elevation MI with reciprocal ST depression at inferior leads” - dunno lah correct or not, but according to Mr K thats the answer la..screw me coz i actually write “refractory” instead of “reciprocal” lol..

2 - ECG: “Atrial fibrillation”.. haizz i omost write something bout the hypoK or hyperK.. but still stuck in the qs that asking bout the causes of AF..i managed to answer thyrotoxicosis and MI..other 2 just hentam =.=

3 - fundoscopy picture: haizzz WTH la.. i really dunno how to differentiate whether the picture actually showing about diabetic retinopathy or hypertensive retinopathy..i juz hentam diabetic..if salah means the management also gone laa.. dengar2 the anw is hypertensive..haizz

4 - interpretation of data.. hypochromic microcytic anemia..ok lah

5 - active station.. instead of intubation that we all expecting,it turn out to be lumbar pucture!!!! LOL!!! i actually didnt read anything bout it! juz rely on my prev 4th year knowledge..but i think i did better compare to last experience during CSP exam! haha the examiner and the qs was the same.. this time i manage to control my nervousness and keep on explain bout the procedure to the grandma..i really not focusing on how to do the lumbar puncture, i just explain the procedure..then try2 la to pok the mannequin…mane tau got luck kan..haha but as expected failed to withdraw the csf fluid..but still i’m stuck at the same qs when grandma ask what i’m gonna do after done with lumbar puncture..i did think bout the reposition the pt into supine position for 5-10 minutes for the pressure,but i did not mention it!! i tot that’s not the answer..haizz next time just try and error la!

6 - interpretation data..this time here come CSF lab result! haizz thanks god got normal value given..but still i cannot sure what is the real dx..i just hentam meningitis, encephalitis..haizz the Mr K once again said that he super confirm it is TB meningitis..so the further ix sure bout the AFB workout..i didnt mention bout it..juz simply write bout ct brain..haha

7 - CT scan..ok the clue given pt have right hemiplegia..so for sure the lesion is on left side rite..haizz but when i look at the ct scan, i describe hypodense over the RIGHT brain..(dah ler unable to think of part of the brain like temporal, occipital,frontal etc..haizz just simply write brain..haha bengong)

8 -  Picture… “acromegaly” LOL!! didn't have any clue bout it coz i never read bout it..but if i did, i actually can answer it coz the clue given ady clearly lead to the dx..pt cannot fit the wedding ring and her old shoe..then the picture also showing the broad hands..and guess what i’m thinking that time.. “cushing $” =.=….. but quite weird la coz the picture really focusing on the hands..definitely not a typical cushing features! haizz.. wanna know what i describe bout the hands?? “swollen hands” lol!!! i really suck in describing things! x_x

9 - CXR: showing homogenous opacity over the left upper lobe..since the marks allocated for the radiological diagnosis was 4..i oso put 4 differential..broncogenic Ca, TB, lung fibrosis, lung abscess

VIVA:  haizz punyerla stress nak penuhkan logbook MSP yg super byk procedures yg perlu dipenuhkan..but as usual la, brape sgt ler procedure yg betol2 dibuat & observe kan..haha.. ok for the MSP viva it actually not as stress or strict as PSP (Paediatric)..time PSP dulu byk giler soalan dr thawdar bom..as for MSP plak, we only req to explain bout 1 procedure..yeahh 1 only ok..somemore my gp got dr Aye Aye Mar..so the choice is on us! so i decide to choose BMA (bone marrow aspiration)..haizz but dr actually not interested to listen, she seemed tired and can’t wait to finish it..haizz penat je tau..semangat giler nak cerita time tu..i hope i able to get good marks..coz most people say dr really generous in giving marks hehe..hopefully ^.^

Long Case:

SCLERODERMA!!! oh emmm gee!! ok bertenang nurul bertenang..u ady study bout it rite, trust in urself..be calm and just clerk as usual..ok here i go..haiizzzz seriusly i didnt expect that i got scleroderma pt as my long case!! somemore i never had any experience in clerking this kind of pt..oh my~ what shud i ask??? but the good thing is, i did have experienced in presenting this case during case presentation..actually fara did the clerking bcoz she’s the one that saw the pt in clinic..at first i was assigned to present the literature part, but since it was dr rachel’s CP, usually she’s the one that would present the part..so we only handle the history and physical examination part..so since i never saw the pt, fara prepared the hx and PE part..so i just did the ix and mg part..sengalnye my part got 2 slides only..haha so its better 1 presenter present the whole things rite..so end up fara asked me to do it..at first i refused..but when think bout it, i shud show some effort rite since she ady clerk the pt..haha actually really thanks to her coz give me the chance to present..at least i got some idea bout the disease..

i also did review few times about it before exam..thanks also to dr rachel bcoz her teaching session make me understand more bout the disease..what i clearly know is it involves multisystem..but the prominent features definitely is the skin manifestation.. “skin tightnening, bird facies looking,small peak nose, microstomia, sclerodactyly, raynaud $, CREST $ & etc” somemore once u saw the pt u sure know she’s got scleroderma..

during the clerking i actually bit blur coz the pt currently don’t have any complaint..so i just focus on when she 1st dx with the disease, progression of the dz, the follow up, medication that she took and bla3..otherwise other hx are not significant.. as for the PE plak i really dunno what shud be check..but as it was long case so i better check all the systems rite..i actually focus more on her general appearance..i did check for any signs of pulmonary hypertension but of coz ler dont have..actually during that time i did not aware about the “lung fibrosis” bcoz i keep focusing on Pulm HPT..i did listened carefully her lungs but seriously cant find any abnormality..other system also normal..

finished examine, i try to make the summary and write bout my findings..i tot there still around 5 minutes, but suddenly the abang pop up and asked me whether i done or not coz left 2 minutes…what!!?? omg! i start to freak out!

but the abg cool me down and said that i’m lucky coz i got the sempoi examiner..he mentioned about dr Kanan…i’m like what!!??o_O then the 2nd examiner…haizz disaster….Dr sandra..till now i dun really sure how to pronounce her name..juz called her Dr S la..she’s the dermatologist and claimed to be the coordinator for MJP in Sandakan..her look looks like indian/pakistan..but she’s actually a Myanmar..lol..but she speaks well..

i actually did really bad during presenting the history..haizz its my first time to present bout a case of scleroderma..ayat tunggang langgang..but the best is dr kanan really showing that he interested to listen and pay full attention until i finished presenting..haizz as for Dr S plak i’m not sure if she really understand what i have presenting..haha..

then i continue presenting bout examination finding..first ady stuck at the general appearance.. from what i examine the skin tightening involved below the elbow, below the knee and face..so she definitely have “Limited systemic sclerosis” rather than diffuse rite?? but then dr seemed not agree with me..Dr S la especially..she then ask me what i understand bout “limited”..haizz i try to explained by describing the extend of skin tightening..but she said i didn’t answer her qs..hayoo stress..end up i just said limited is not diffuse..dr Kanan burst in laugh after he heard my answer..haha lol..(buat lawak bangang di situ =.=)

another thing is when i told them that i could not elicited any abnormality in the respi system, they’re like what?? really? did u really examined her? so when both examiner showed that kind of expression..i know i’m screwed ady..but seriously its normal what..huhu how la jugak nak crap..hayoo..then dr kanan ask me what i expect to find in her lungs..haizz thanks god i know how to answer..actually that time i just think bout the interstitial lung disease and lung fibrosis..fiuhhh..Dr Kanan seemed relieved when i did managed to answer it..he said at least i know what to find..

then proceed to the investigation.. for the confirmatory i just know bout the anti-scl 70 and anticentromere..others are more on target organs related..but dr did not satisfy with the ans.. actually dr K want to lead me to mention bout to rule out other connective tissue dz by doing antinuclear factor..but he subconsciously told me the answer..haha so nice leh dr K..but dr S seemed to be irritated and said “u actually teaching her..she did not mention bout the antinuclear before”..huh @.@

huhuhu i really worry bout my long case coz i did not even discuss about the management of this patient..somemore i also confused bcoz Dr K said the ix result of this pt turn to be anti-scl 70 positive..so she definitely has “diffuse systemic sclerosis”..that’s why la dr a bit shock when i said the PE findings are normal..i guess the case note did mentioned something bout “lung fibrosis”..duh screwed me.. (but yonlek, she also got same pt, said that the lungs are clear..no signs of fibrosis..huu bit relief to hear bout it..at least got people that same findings as me..so dr cant accused me bluffing..haizz this the prob when examiner did not see the pt =.=)

as conclusion i dun have any idea whether i could pass this long case or not..dr K seemed nice and dr S seemed killer..but we never know how they give mark rite..huhuhu pleasseee let me pass T^T

Short Cases:

Examiners: Omg got dr Timothy and dr bunga.. did have experienced presenting with dr timothy..haizz habisla if i failed to impress him this time..

1. Cardio case - i examined as fast as i can until i missed soooo many important things!!! hayoo nampak sgt jarang practice short case.. i actually forgot to check the radio-radial delay, radio-femoral delay, peripheral pulses, collapsing pulse and doing the auscultate manoeuvre.. but dr only realize bout the collapsing pulse and the manoeuvre things..he didnt tegur bout the peripheral pulses..i hope they really didnt realize bout it..if not really super screwed la me!! since i finished fast, dr ask me to re-examine again so i only do the manoeuvre..that time dr also didnt tegur bout the collapsing pulse and i totally did not aware bout it.. so during the re-examine, i try to elicit other murmur than PSM..i actually did think of aortic regurg..but really cant elicit it so i just present bout the PSM..haizz actually i think that uncle did have “corrigan’s sign - the dancing carotid pulse” which i tot his JVP =.=

hayooo buat penat je hafal 17 signs of aortic regurg..end up i cannot “show off” my talent lol!!! so my dx only lead to mitral regurg..the good thins is i did managed to discuss until the management.. yeahh thanks to dr timothy coz he teach us to keep on talking till end..haha..hmm dr also did not said anything bout the aortic regurg…huhu dunno la, but other students said the uncle did have aortic regurg..haizz..dr bunga plak did not ask anything..she only complaint that i speak to soft..haiz sorry dr..

2. SUPRISED!! - guess what..same as in PSP previously where i got the same case as in long case..so here i am the same “akak scleroderma” which i got in long case just now.. at first i would like to req to change pt, but i tot arghh let it be la.. hmm since i did examined her this morning so i did not too panic..haha so i just examined as usual la..like the way examined the rheumatoid arthritis..but at first dr ask me to examined and described the face.. actually i did mentioned bout the hypopigmentation..but dr tot i mentioned hyperpigmentation..haizz…tu lah next time speak clearly nurul..

i also managed to discuss until management..somemore still got few minutes left..so dr timothy did gave me advices to not repeat the silly mistakes again (haizz the cvs case la..so many things i missed to check)..he did said that i did well in my 2nd case..as for the 1st case, really sayang la coz missed so many things rite…haizz i guess i got my lesson already.. huhuhu again please let me pass my clinical exam T^T

 

p/s: That’s all for now..i will talk bout my super boring holiday in the next entry lah ya.. ciau!!

 

haizz hopefully not so teruk  la =.=

 

 pray hard and tawakal!!

“Ya Allah, semoga Engkau berikan kejayann buat kami semua..amiinnn..”

 

“Mcm sy ni bf km je kena deal dgn perasaan km plak…”

aku rase statement tu dah cukup mengambarkan perasaan dia kat aku..

as usual i juz wasting my time to hope for something that definitely impossible to be achieve..

i guess i shud REALLY MOVE ON!! Yeahh life must go on bha kan >.<

Sayonara to my broken heart..haha

p/s: dun worry, we’re still friend..and always be..