WeLcoMe To mY wOrLd

There’s one word I cannot say
There’s one word I cannot hear
I love you I love you

I hid those words in my heart
The words that left me in tears
The words that gave me only this pain.
The words that i cannot say, even at this moment when I’m letting you go.
I love you

I’m by your side right now, but who are you looking at?
I feel so bitter towards you because you don’t even know my feelings for you.
Just look back at me once.
Me, who’s looking up to only you.
Love is calling you but you’re looking away, hurting yourself.

There’s one word I cannot say
There’s one word I cannot hear
I love you I love you
I hid those words in my heart
The words that left me in tears
The words that gave me only this pain.
The words that i cannot say, even at this moment when i’m letting you go.
I love you

Just hold my hand once.
Me, who’s been looking up to you all this time.
If you’re hurt from another love, I’ll hold you close and wipe away your dears.

The words my heart calls out every day
The words my heart shouts out everyday
I love you I love you

I wipe these words away with tears
The words that kept me living for today
The words that i can’t wipe out again today
I love you I love you
I want to hear these words from you.

There’s one word I cannot say
There’s one word I cannot hear
I love you I love you

I hid those words in my heart
The words that left me in tears
The words that gave me only this pain.
The words that I cannot say, even at this moment when I’m letting you go.
I love you

Naega hangaji mothaeneun mal
naega hangaji motdeutneun mal
saranghae nol saranghae hanmadeereul gaseumae soomgyuh nohggo
naegae noomool man juohtdon mal
naegae apeumman juohtdon geu maleul
eerohkae nol bohnaeneun soongahnaedoh malhaji mothaneun mal
nol saranghae

jigeum gyutae soh itneundae nohn daechae noogool bogo itneunji
nae mahm hana moreuneun nigar wonmahngseu rohwoh
hanbonman dweereul dol ahbwah noh hanaman barahneun nal
sarangee nohreul booreuneundae mon gortman bogo apa hago itneungohyah

Naega hangaji mothaeneun mal
naega hangaji motdeutneun mal
saranghae nol saranghae hanmadeereul gaseumae soomgyuh nohggo
naegae noomool man juohtdon mal
naegae apeumman juohtdon geu maleul
eerohkae nol bohnaeneun soongahnaedoh malhaji mothaneun mal
nol saranghae

hanbonman nae son jabajwoh nol eetorok baraneun nal
dareun sarangae apahaedoh nae poomae ahngyuh geu noolmooldoh dahkajoolgae
gaseumee maeil boorooneunmal
gaseumee maeil waechineunmal
saranghae nol saranghae hanmadeereul noonmooloh jiwohnohkgo
naega ohneuldoh salgaehan mal
naega ohneuldoh mot jeewoon geu maleun

Naega hangaji mothaeneun mal
naega hangaji motdeutneun mal
saranghae nol saranghae hanmadeereul gaseumae soomgyuh nohggo
naegae noomool man juohtdon mal
naegae apeumman juohtdon geu maleul
eerohkae nol bohnaeneun soongahnaedoh malhajï mothaneun mal
nol saranghae

maeil heieojiji anadodwigo
taekshibigeokjeong anhaedo dwigo
neuteunjeonyeok soreulmasyeodo bumonim nunchi anbwadodwi
maeilbam jeonhwagirul ddeugeobkae haetseotdeon uridorui sarangyaeginun mannaseohaja
yeonaenun keuman kkutnaeja
gyeolhonhaejweo my baby gyeolhonhaejweo my lady
nan ojik neobbunihello kittyn niga nae jeonbuinikka
gyeolhonhaejweo mybaby gyeolhonhaejweo my lady
nan ojik neobbuninikkan niga nae saranginikka
gyeolhonhaejweo

annyeongiran mareul anhaedodwigo
neojanun geokjeong anhaedodwigo
neuteunjeonyeok bameulmeokeulddae honjameokji anadodwi
himdeunil modu naegae da haejulkae
niga wonhanungeon mwodeunji modu haejulkae
gyeolhonhaejweo my baby gyeolhonhaejweo my lady
nan ojik neobbuninakkan niga nae jeonbuinikka
gyeolhonhaejweo my baby gyeolhonhaejweo my lady
nan ojil neobbuninikkan niga nae saranginikka
gyeolhonhaejweo

p/s: hohoho i like this song!! aigooo lagu manelah yg ko tak penah suke if mlibatkan band ft island ni???hahaha <3<3<3 ft island lover~ or sebetulnya Hong ki’s lover <3<3<3

 

 

by the way, there’s something yg sy nak state kat sini..yelah before korang salah faham..or maybe korang dah pun salah faham sebenarnya -_-

sy yang bernama Nurul Farahana Majid mmg xde pape hubungan spesel dgn mamat yg bernama A bukan nma sebenar tu..sy dgn dia just kawan..yup kmi mmg slalu together n hang out sama..tp tu x mmbuktikan yg kmi ni ada hbgan spesel k..haizz ckp camne pun bukan korang prcaya jga..up to u guys laa..

but yg pasti kmi mmg x pape..somemore its impossible for us to be together laa..hahaha x dpat dibayangkan ^^ kmi ni just best buddy baa..sometimes mmglah nmpak over jek kemesraan kmi smpai ade org ckp kalah2 mcm org bercinta..hak3 but sesungguhnya antara kmi mmg teda apa2..

somemore dia skang kan dah ade someone spesel..korang takyah ler nak buang masa n tenaga dok gosip sal kmi..no point baa..x psal2 kang sy kena tuduh as perosak hbgan org plak..omo~ i taknak jdi mcm pasha sanda~!!

people will questioning me, “dah tau dia ade gf nape ko asyik berkepit dgn dia jek”

haizz..why leh? aigoo..salahke kmi berkawan? between friend cannot mesra2 meh? same like i wif my “girl” friends..oso mesra2 maa..but bcoz of same gender takde ler plak kene gosip kan..haha tp silap hari bulan bleh kene tuduh lesbian plak..aigooo susah jga hdup dgn pandangan org kan..

yg mmbezakan prsahabatan sy dgn dia is the gender..cuba klau kmi 2-2 laki..or kmi 2-2 pompuan..confirm teda sgala gosip2 tu..

sy personally mmg ske hang out dgn dia..like i mention before, i like to hear his story..dia plak suke btol bercerita..even masalah pun dia dok crite ke sy..although he know yg sy ni mmg xde skill pun dlm bab2 mnyelesaikan msalah dia..menambahkan lgi msalah ader lah hak3..but dia x kisah, coz he just need someone to be his listener not a problem solver..hohoho he never told me bout that..i juz make my hypothesis..hahaha so damn confident (n.n)

as a conclusion..sy dgn dia mmg takde pape ye..in a correct way we are teman tapi mesra..fullstop

 

- The End -  

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are

And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

 

p/s: song by Bruno mars…nice melody & lyric..edith

san..atashi dedicate dis song for anatawa..hehe coz long time

ago u once introduce me wif dis song rite..at that time i just

pndang sblah mata jek..but currently i like dis song so

much! haha layaann~

-The End-

currently i feel empty..

i miss someone..

someone that used to be “someone” in my heart..

i miss all the moments we haved together..

now everything is not same as before..

that someone no longer the person i know before..

Lol of coz laa..

human can changes baa..

u dun expect that someone will stick wif u forever rite..

haizz ottukay..

sometimes i hate myself coz have that kind of feeling..

what feeling leh?

hmm a feeling that only can be feel by me..

which could not be feel by that someone..

I have gone through lots of things wif that someone..

all those sweet..sour..and bitter memories..

will they kept safely in my heart?

dunno..maybe..hope so..

i know i shouldn't have that kind of feeling towards that someone..

coz i know that someone is not mean to be mine..

but ottukay??

as its oredi started..its hard to turning back..

what to do now?

shud i undergo feeling”ectomy” to remove it from my heart?

or..

i guess better to undergo heart transplant laah..

coz if i not do that,

i’ll keep on hurting myself..

oh God..

please give me guidance..

what shud i do leehh???

aaiigooo~

------------------------------>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

GO STUDY LAH WEH~!!!

KO INGAT KO FREE SANGAT KE DOK MELAYAN PERASAAN

KAT SINI HAA???

LECTURES TU BANYAK LAGI BLUM KAVER KAN..

IN CORRECT WORDS..

KO STUDY PUN BLUM START..

NAK KAVER APENYE??

NURUL OH NURUL..

KO SEDAR TAK EXAM DAH NAK DEKAT??

3 WEEKS JEK LAGI…

KO INGAT 3 BULAN LAGI KE HAA??

PEJAM CELIK PEJAM CELIK ESOK DAH NAK EXAM..

HAIIZZ DAH LER DR WWM LETAK TARGET HIGH

TAHAP BABAS~!!

SHE EXPECT ALL OF US TO GET A?????

AIGGOO~

IS THAT POSSIBLE?

OMO~WAT A STRESS!!

HAA..TAU PUN STRESS KAN..

SO TAK RETI2 NAK STUDY??

YANG READERS PUN SAME..

AMBOII~ KALAU PART JIWANG2 SUKE BENO BACE YEK..

BTW CRITE KAT ATAS TU JUZ REKAAN SEMATA-MATA..

TAKDE KAITAN DGN YG HIDUP OR YG DAH MENINGGAL..

IF ADE PERSAMAAN PUN MAYBE KEBETULAN KOT..

HAAAA PE LAGI DOK TERCEGAT TU~

STUDY~!!!!

 

GANBATTE KUDASAI SUME~!!

BEST OF LUCK!

---santai corner---

Exams are there,

at the paper u stare;

the answer is nowhere,

which makes u pull your hair.

The teachers make u glare,

the grades r not fair,

but just like the past 20 yrs,

WE DON'T CARE…..!!!

Human brain is the most

outstanding object in world..

it functions 24 hours per day..

365 day per year..

it functions right from time

we are BORN and..

STOP only when we enter

the EXAM HALL!!

 

 

jangan stress2 yek..

we all can make it insya’Allah..

put some effort & pray!

thats all we can do..

 

 

“God did not promise that life would be easy..

But He did promise to be with you of you on every step of the way..

So, have faith.”

- The End -

 

 

hmmm…

i’m sorry..

dah lama kite kwn..

yet i still fail to understand u..

i’m really not a good friend rite..

miannhae..

each time we have “fight”..

i owez think dat i’m the one dat hurt..

i never realize that u oso got the same feeling as mine..

i want u to understand me,

but i never try to understand u..

u said each time we have fight,

u’ll be the one yg mengalah..

is it true??

hmm cannot say 100% true lah..

yaa at the end, seems like u’re the one that mengalah..

but if u think carefully,

in the early phase, i’m the one dat mengalah first..

and u owez like to main tarik tali wif me..

i say sorry..

but u ignored me (T.T)

then u acted cool..

dun want to talk to me or even look at me..

usually it will last for 1 week or even more..

my prinsip is easy..

once i been ignore..

i will like giving up..

i will think that,

“k fine..he dun want to accept my sorry..

just leave him alone..nnti pndailah dia baik sndri”

i never realize that u ekceli want me to take the next step..

u want me to tegur u first..

ermm wif ur condition yg owez looks hot..

how am i have courage to do that?

ekceli sometimes i feel like to do so..

but once i look into ur eyes..

or juz by see ur kelibat dri jauh..

i can sense the “hotness”..

so, i juz give up before i put some effort to do so..

in other words,i ekceli afraid to be rejected..

dats why i juz leave u alone..

by acting like dat..

am i ego?

hmm i dunno lah..

for me,

i’m more like “afraid to accept the bad result”

i dun want to be ignored for the 2nd time..

dats why i choose to give up..

haiizz if dats oso can be consider as symptoms of ego..

looks like my ego is higher than u..

coz u said that at the end,

u’re the one that have to sacrifice ur ego,

in order to break the ice..

 

wait a minute..

i juz realize something..

before this i keep on asking why each time when i say sorry

its hard for u to accept it,

but then, when u start approach me, it really easy for me to

accept it??

i owez feel this is sooooooo unfair~!!!

hmm..its ekceli have something to do wif “ego”..

now i really think we both have ego..

the differences is,

ur ego start at the early phase..

while my ego start in the middle of fight..

soon as i feel ignored..

why u hard to accept my appologize at the beginning?

its becoz ur ego at that time is sooooooo high..

full volume ler katekan..

then why easy for me to accept ur “sorry” at the end??

its bcoz the strength of my ego juz mild2 one..

if u realize, i put pembuka kata at the word sorry rite..

why leeh??

haha bcoz u ekceli not directly say sorry to me..

its happen so many times oredi..

ekceli i really x puas hati wif that..

seems like i’m the one that appologize to u..

and u didnt even apologize to me..

but then now,

i believe that once u already start to approach me at the end,

u ekceli indirectly want to show that u ekceli did appologize

to me..

its ekceli hard to directly say sorry bcoz of the EGO rite..

just now…

i again did the same mistakes..

ekceli i cant hold it anymore..

dats why i shoot u wif all the statement..

well..pompuan..mmg mcm ni..

owez bertindak melulu kan..

huhu at first i did sense that u’re lying to me

about the book..

but when u start to put the blame on me..

i suddenly feel a bit hot…

so try my best to defend myself..

then ur voice seems so stress..

in my mind, i start to think that

why i owez cause stress to u..

everything that i did seems wrong in ur eyes..

mianhae..

i’m really bad in interpreting data from u..

sometimes u complaint dat i’m easily get irritated wif jokes..

ekceli not like dat laa..

i oso dunno wat happen..

my action was too fast compare to my rationality..

sometimes i feel like to react wif this kind of reaction..

but yet i owez did the opposite kind of reaction…

haizz its hard to control involuntary action leeh..

hmm now i really dunno wats ur conditon..

do u still angry wif me??

do u still tersinggung wif me??

i hope no such thing lah k..

its my bad said those things to u..

i bet u must trasa wif my statement

regarding previous entry..

i once mention that

“when u need me, u treat me nicely..when

u don need me, u act cool to me”

hmm how to say aa..

yeahh those thing once bermain2 dlm fikiran..

but its juz a dilema only..

i’m not accuse u wif the statement..

coz somehow i still believe that u’re really sincere to be friend

wif me..

its juz bcoz each time we have fight..

we have it at the wrong situation and timing..

wat i mean is..

we owez fight at the moment that i need u the most..

its owez like that punya..

i oso dunno why..

dats why i owez think that when people need me,

i owez available for them..

but each time i need someone’s help..

i hardly to find people that really available for me..

once again i’m sorry for any mistakes that i did..

i’ll try my best to become a good friend..

a friend that can satisfy ur need..

i cant guaranty it, but i will try my best..

 

 

         

 

 

- The End -

 

 16 oktober 2010…

2day is a spesel day coz its my father’s birthday..msuk taun ni genap ler umur abah aku 49 tahun..blum lgi msuk 1/2 abad..so can be consider mude lgi baa hik3…

tadi aku baru jek tepon n wish birthday for him..biasenye if kol rumah mmg borak dgn maa aku je..sgtlah jarang for me to have a conversation wif my dad..klau ade pun ntuk kes2 spesel…mcm time2 dah “kering” tu,haa brulah tergerak hati nak brckp dgn abah aku..slain tu, time dkat2 nak exam tu, wajiblah kan minta restu..kang x psal2 x berkat plak ilmu >.<…

klau time2 lain mmg x penah r aku tepon n brckp dgn abah aku..sometimes if abah aku yg pick up the phone, confirm x smpai 2 minit trus pass g mom aku..hik3 seems like i’m not so close wif my dad rite? ekceli not like dat laa..its juz my dad mmg sorang yg pendiam n x byk ckp pun..biaselah org laki kan..xkan ler korang expect aku nak dok bergosip dgn abah aku dlm phone plak..lain r dgn mom aku..borak mcm member..sume gosip aku dok crite kat mom aku..tp biasanya aku byk dok ngadu psal mslah n stress kat mom aku..hak3 ape pnya anak daa..even dok jauh pun still menambahkan beban kat parents haizz…

lets back to story..

td aku mention yg aku ade wish abah aku kan..ekceli nilah 1st time aku wish birthday thru phone kat abah aku hehe..if sblom2 ni..aku juz bgi msj je..tak pun suh mom aku yg tolong wish kan akeke..bukannye ape..sejujurnya aku mmg feel akward if ckp phone dgn abah aku..coz abah aku kan pendiam..but 2day aku mmg bertekad nak wish thru phone..haizz tak tau ler nape aku bleh ade keberanian..erm i guess i started to built my confidence level thruout dis clinical year kot hahaha..yelah, if aku bleh interact dgn patient, why not aku buat prkara yg sma to my dad kan…

msa aku kol maa td, cam biaselah ayat intro, tnye buat ape, dah mkn blom, then maa aku will start crite sal ragam adik aku yg tersangatlah “baik” tu..Lol aku pun x paham dgn c pahmi tu..awat ler dia jahat btol dgn maa aku..if dgn abah aku baaiiikkk jek dia..cian maa aku..hari2 kene buli dgn budak bertuah tu haizz…then aku tnya psal pizza coz sblom ni maa aku ade mention yg dia nak msak pizza sempena bday abah aku tu..(hoho kelass gitu msak pizza..bukannye nak msak pulut kuning ke hahaha)…maa aku ckp licin dah piza tu..hbis 4 loyang kene bedal..waduh2 bukannye reti nak pos ke sandakan ke isk3 (T.T)..

x lama pastu, aku pun usha r ape abah aku tgh buat..maa aku ckp tgh dok rehat2 layan brite..hehe nice..so aku pun suh r maa aku pass phone ke abah aku..then bermulalah conversation btween me n my dad..

first of all mesti r aku wish bday dulu…aku ckp “selamat hari jadi abah..semoga panjang umur dan dimurahkan rezeki” yg abah aku plak bleh2 tak ingat yg hri ni bday dia..isk3 org laki ler katekan..mmg x ambik port sgt psal bday2 ni haizz..

aku ckp ler, “aik xkan ler abah x tau..maa buat pizza tu smpene bday abah ler..xkan maa takde wish kot” abah aku plak bleh reply “manelah abah tau..dah maa x ckp pun”..hahaha adoii comey jga abah aku ni..hmm but if nak diikutkan mmg logik gak r..coz mom aku kan slalu jga msak yg spesel2 eventhough xde event apepun..dats why ler abah aku bajet yg maa aku saje je msak pizza tu  ^.^

i tot after hbis wish tu our conversation end kat situ..rupenye tak..abah aku pun start ler tnya sal study..so aku pun ape lgi, start r dok crite sal pngalaman aku smbut baby..hehe excited siot aku dok brcrita..mcm yg aku slalu crite kat mom aku..then aku mention ler yg aku x sbar nak smbut lgi baby..at first mmg r neves giler..but biler dah experience skali, rase nak lagi..aku crite ler ape yg aku buat time conduct delivery tu..biler aku mention sal part2 tarik baby kuar tu,aku ckp yg kite perlu pegang baby tu kuat2 smbil tarik kuar coz takut terlepas.. abah aku pun ckp “awok dok tarik2 kpala baby tu kang tercabut plak kpala anak orang,x psal2 kene dakwa” hak3 sabar jek lah dgn abah aku ni..aku jwb r “manade lgi kes kpala or tgan baby tercabut msa bersalin” abah aku plak bls “skang mmg ler takde, mane tau msa awok smbut nnti ade”

aduyaii dari aku dok excited nak tnggu for the next delivery..xpsal2 confidence level ade turun skit..aiseh abah aku ni buat takut org jek lah…haha i guess my dad try to remind me just to be careful whenever i dealing wif patient (n.n)

then aku ade gak crite sal isu gender discrimination...abah aku ckp , msti r nurse baik dgn student laki..bakal doktor ler katekan..tu namanya baik ade maksud tersirat tu..Lol rupenye abah aku pun has the same thought as me..

lame jgalah aku dok borak dgn abah aku..hbis sal khdupan aku kat sandakan ni..brubah topik sal adik aku plak..abah aku dah tak kuase nak brain wash c farhan tu..abah aku ckp lantak dia ler nak jdi ape..malas btol study..then aku tnya psal anak abah aku yg sekor lgi tu..mule aku ingat abah aku nak ckp same je dak pahmi dgn dak pahan tu..skalinye abh aku mention yg sekor lgi tu boleh tahan la..ade ok skit..hak3 tergelak aku dgr statement abah aku tu..yelah mane taknye, if dgn maa aku, dak pahmi tu brlagak mcm big bos…layan maa aku mcm org gaji jek...but abah aku ckp, “pahmi dgn maa mmg jahat..tp dgn abah baik je,dgar ckp..”haizz sabo jek lah..

lastly aku tnya sal proses perpindahan…yup, if u guys nak tau hujung taun ni my family will be moving back to pahang..skang ni abah ngan maa aku mmg dok busy pack2 barang msukkan dlm kotak..maa aku mention yg rumah skang dah mcm tongkang pecah..penuh dgn kotak2,dah tak boleh bernafas..abah aku jek yg still bleh relaks n bernafas dlm keadaan rumah mcm tu akekeke…

ekceli plan pindah ni dah lame dah since last year lgi..tp slalu jek tak jadi..but now mmg dah confirm...dah berpuluh2 tahun abah aku dok keje kat kompeni yg sama, so its time for my dad to try his luck at smnjung plak..lgipun kompeni yg abah aku tgh bkrja skang mmg ade problem skit..haizz biaselah if keje under chinese..ade je yg dorang x puas hati..

end of december they will be leaving..ekceli abah aku dah nak book tiket around mid of dec..haizz nasib ler x book lgi coz adik aku hbis spm around 20th of dec..isk3 abah aku ni pun bukannye nak usha2 dulu tarikh exam..nasib ler maa aku tolong ingatkan..

huhuhu pasni x dpat ler nak balik rumah slalu..omo~ starting next year, if cuti jek trpksa r aku pun dok busy usha tiket balik (T.T)..i’m no longer a sabahan anymore..uhuk3 sedey…pasni confirm susah nak jmpa dgn kwan2 aku yg stay kat papar tu =(

aigoo entry ni sptutnya spesel dedicate to my beloved dad..tp dah rupe report harian jek kan..hak3 mcm jek tak biase buat…ok lah, ntuk mmbuatkan ianya spesel..meh i put some details bout my dad..a bit like biography cam tu >.<

 

 

 

Nama: Majid bin Mat Lazim

Umur: 49

DOB: 16 Okt 1961

POB: Kg Kuala Wau Pahang

Pekerjaan: Technician for almost 30 years boleh dikire mcm 

                  specialist dah hik3

Status: suami kpd Rohani Sidah  & bapak kpd 3 org anak

Hobi: merayau..merehatkan mental & fizikal a.k.a TIDO..tgk tv..previously

         (5 years ago) used to luv fishing,..rasenye abah aku “mengidam”

         kot..haha coz time tulah mom aku start mengandungkan si pahmi..

F. Food: basically sume mkanan abah aku bedal esp msakan my mom..but his

              f.food are nasi pulut + ikan masin…sup tulang..ikan sungai msak

              gulai esp ikan keli & ikan patin..seafood..sgala ulam2 like petai &

              jering..lemang..and not to mention -->junk food haizz sgala kropok2

              n coklat fahmi pun abah aku bedal gak ^^

F. Drink: ice lemon tea..kopi o..sarsi..laici ping..

Down memory lane: maa aku ckp, abah aku penah g tebang pokok  jiran time

                               dia kecik2..aduyai pnyalah nakal abah aku ni dulu ~.~

Specialist in: handling mesin2/kreta (klau rosak boleh r baiki

                     skit2)..bertukang (most of almari & krusi kat rumah abah aku

                     yg buat sndri)...mendidik anak2,buktinya kmi adik bradik sume

                     takut dgn abah aku hahaha..oh ya, my dad oso not bad in buat

                     lemang..tok aku ckp lemang yg abah aku buat sodap!

Pantang wif: kucing..erm tp xdelah smpai rase nak tembak if nmpak kucing

                     hak3..then x ske biler abah aku tgh bersemangat buat something

                     then org lain killed the mood..

Personally, abah aku sorang yang sngt pendiam..he will only talks bila perlu..if ade problem pun abah aku jarang skali akan crite kat maa aku..org laki kan suke simpan masalah sndri2 then try to solve it by himself..so trpksa lah maa aku jdi reporter dok korek crite from my dad haha..hmm abah aku oso a good listener…setia je dok dgar maa aku buat report harian akeke…slain tu, abah aku sorang yg sgt penyabar dan tak cepat melatah..sorang abah yg gigih bekerja ntuk menyara kmi sekeluarga…nampak garang tp ekceli ada “bunga dlm taman” sometimes slalu gak buat lawak haizz..biler abah aku ade mood ntuk buat something, he will keep on do it till the task is done..but if not in da mood, even maa aku suh tukar kpala paip jek pun need to takes bout few weeks or even months hak3..

abah..wlpun abah tak tunjuk sgt yg abah sayang & cares for us..but we all believe yg abah mmg sayang kat kami sume..terima kasih abah di atas sgala pengorbanan dan titik peluh yang abah curahkan demi menyara dan memberikan kesenangan ntuk kita sekeluarga..maafkan kak long sekiranya dulu kak long pernah menyinggung prasaan abah…maafkan kaklong jga sebab slalu jek mengadu takde duit eventhough dah berkali abah nasihatkan supaya berbelanja dgn cermat..

Selamat Hari Jadi Abah..Semoga dirahmati Allah swt dunia akhirat..Semoga dipanjangkan umur..dikurniakan kesihatan yang baik & dimurahkan rezeki…doakan kejayaan kaklong di sini..mudah2han kaklong tak menghampakan harapan abah dan maa..insya’Allah..i love you abah..you are my hero!

 

 

 

 

p/s: aik awat lain mcm jek pose..patutnya maa aku yg merangkul lengan abah aku..Lol comey jga parents aku ni (n.n)

 

p/s: last wednesday (13 okt) was Farhan’s bufday..he’s now 17 years old..msa berlalu cpat skali..rsa mcm bru jek taun lalu dia ambik PMR..now dah nak ambik spm dah pun..haizz dah besar rupenya adik aku ni ek..haha dis oso mean yg i’m oso getting older leh~!! oh no~!!!!

Sorry no spesel entry for u ^^ see la next time yek..

Happy belated 17 birthday!! Semoga bahagia dgn org yg

tersayang..hoho tu pun klau ade..All the best in ur SPM!!

study lah weh~ jgn dok online jek keje haizz…contohilah

ur sis ni..rajin beno “study”..hahaha peace no war!

-The End-

 

minggu ni genaplah sebulan aku menjejakkan kaki ke posting O&G…prasaan aku?haha mcm sukar ntuk dipercayai coz makin lama aku makin suke dgn posting ni..frankly speaking, aku dulu paling takut dgn posting ni coz perlu conduct delivery plus kene buat all those vaginal examination…eee aku klau bleh x mo buat tu sume…seram plus malu siot nak sentuh part2 yg tersangatlah private tu..

first 2 weeks…not really enjoyed the posting…reasons?? morning ward round not so interesting as in SJP..haaizz sometimes feel unwanted leeh...Dr bukannya layan kami pun..ditambah lgi dgn pandangan menyampah from Dr A..aiggo~ mcm je dia x penah jdi med student before this..no need so sombong la..even specialist oso know how to smile wif us..

huhu i miss the moment when all of us kene shot dgn soklan by Mr Ng…miss the moment to see Mr jerry’s interact wif patient…miss the moment kene “fire” dgn dr Joe coz byk sgt org berkerumun dlm burn room during ward round..haiiz i wonder napelah bdak SJP skang x bape suke follow ward round..best ape!ditambah lgi biler mr jerry yg handle ward round tu ^_^

2nd reason…we dun have a proper restroom/classroom as in SJP..sometimes lect will be at ICU..smtimes at MOPD..smtimes at level 6..smtimes pinjam bilik surgical ward..n last choice is at bandar maju…

3rd reason..the clinic???wuuuu i really dun like attend clinic session…coz its really different from SJP..for me i really learnt a lot during SJP..but in OGP?huhu dunno lah..most of the Drs not really have time to teach us..if u want to learnt..pandai2 lah survive sndri ye..wat makes it so different compare to SJP is..we ekceli kene pantau by Dr WWM & Dr O..dah ler kene present case kat dorang (till now i havent present any case yet to them)..haaiizz i prefer the way in SJP in which each time clinic ,we are stick to 1 Dr n will rotate weekly..by doing dat, we’re able to learnt a lot from different dr..in OG,sometimes i feel “lost” during clinic coz dunno wat to do…nak clerk case, tp malas..end up juz lepak at the korner “study” smbil tunggu  Dr wwm  bla dri situ..

other reason..most of us having difficulty in do clerking..blur! dunno how to clerk patient esp obs case..omo~ byk kot bnda kene tnya..antenatal booking..past obs..past gynae..plus oso need to know details regarding the investigation tu sume..hayoo stres!!erm tp skang, i oredi can get used wif it..ekceli takdelah susah mane pun kan hehe..thanks a lot to Dr coz x jemu2 dok ulang bnda yg sma each time we do ward round or bst >.<

ekceli, the main reason yg buatkan i’m not really enjoy the posting at the “1st trimester” is when i still dun get chance to conduct any delivery…stress siott coz most of them ady conduct at least once..i feel quite down last week coz when i feel smgat to go on call..my friends dun have feel to go for it..ditambah dgn sindiran from midwife when they keep on puji bdak laki coz dah byk kali conduct delivery compare to bdak pompuan esp me yg x penah skali pun conduct,i decide to try my luck on last sunday..i said to my self..no matter wat happen, i must conduct delivery within this week..

ekceli i plan to stay after saturday’s class..but cancel coz there’s ady group onkol dat day..so sia2 je kot if stay..kang kene ckp curi peluang org plak..so nak tak nak ahad je lah peluang aku..ditambah plak tarikh hri tu mmg smart giler..10.10.2010..hoho i bet there will be many deliveries..

i know sunday ros will go for church..so i ask edith to accompany me..but sayangnya she ady have date wif her sister..aiggoo~ then i ask chalen to teman me..malangnya she oso cant make it coz not feeling well..ok fine..i’ll go by myself...i really have to..if not bile lgi nak curi peluang ntuk conduct..if nak tngu next onkol..high chance dat we’ll not go for onkol..if wait till next session of labour room??huh klau lambat grab chance mmg confirm kene bolot oleh mamat 2 ekor tu..

----------------------------------------------------------------------

so, as planned..i woke up early dat morning…mulenye plan nak nek bas je pagi tu coz ros tak jdi pegi church..tp ros dgn baiknya offer to send me to hosp..hehe kamsae hae ros! she said she will joining me but maybe in the evening…

smpai je kat hosp, aku trus melangkahkan kaki ke labour room..nebes siot p sorang2..smpai je rest room tu, nmpak ade 1 beg student..aik mcm kenal je..tnpa buang msa, aku trus gerak ke labour room..aigoo~ byk nye dr dlm tu..xkan ler tgah buat ward round plak..aiseh x brani nak approach, aku pun g turun beli breakfast dulu..after dat bru aku mnuju ke labour room smula..Lol rupenye dr yg ramai2 td dok observe or supervise si firdaus conduct delivery…walaweh mamat tu lgi awal siot..time tu just aku dan dia je, takde pun kelibat student lain..hoho good2..means adelah chance ntuk conduct delivery..

msa tu ade anothe patient…so aku pun branikan diri ntuk approach n minta consent ntuk conduct..alhamdulilah berjaya..my 1st patient is madam suhana G4P3..at last i manage to experience how to conduct delivery..midwife yg sma2 conduct dgn aku tu JM Suriati..aku ske tgk kakak tu coz dia cantik hik3..plus oso baik n sudi mengjar..tp msa preparation ntuk delivery, kakak tu ade “marah” aku coz lmbat sgt prepare antiseptic..omo~ time tu “lotion: dah habis..so kak tu suh aku gune NS jek..susah siot nak transfer air tu gune syringe..dah ler time tu pt dah start ajan..last2 kak tu suh aku letak ketepi NS tu n trus prepare ntuk smbut baby..huhu gomen kak..org barulah ler katekan..mmg ler byk salah sane sini..

msa conduct tu, aku takdelah 100% conduct coz msa kpala baby dah kuar, kak tu yg tolong kluarkan badan baby coz time tu kpala baby mcm terlekat..omo~ biru bdan baby msa kluar..means ade fetal distress..but thankfully no need for any resuscitation..juz aspiration only…klau tak confirm aku fobia nak smbut baby lgi..then proceed wif placenta delivery…omo mcm ni rupenye prasaan pegang placenta..isk3 lembik btol mcm jelly..then part kluarkan drah form uterus tu aku still x bape mahir..biler aku korek xpun drah kluar..skalinya bile kak tu korek,bergumpal2 drah kuar..haizz..

for me its really a nice experience..thankfully pt tu dun have any tear..so no need to jait loo..officially, my 1st baby out at 11.29am (10/10/10)..baby boy 3kg..

finish conducted, i feel to conduct another delivery..somemore dat time there’re 3 more pts..firdaus oso decide to conduct another del..he ask this pt named madam Nia,G2P1 but haved previous scar..so in her case, she’s consider as primigravida n med student basically is not allowed to conduct..

aku plak dok usha pt sblah madam nia tu..aisey x ingat ler plak nama ape..but she is oso G2P1 but no previous scar..hehe which mean i can take her case..since firdaus unable to take any case, he decide to go somewhere else to study..ekceli there’s another pt but the pt got GDM somemore she oso seems have other problem coz during VE done i heard that midwife mention she can feel fetal hand..omo dunno wats ekceli happen..since dat pt mcm “dikawal ketat” kmi pun x jdilah nak approach..

nak dijadikan crita, msa aku tgh dok timing contraction pt yg aku cop tu, suddenly midwife kecoh2 kat sblah coz pt madam nia tu dah nak bersalin..tb2 midwife tu dok cari2 si firdaus coz she want firdaus tu conduct..at first mmg dia x bgi conduct but since the mother condition seems well n the progression of labour is good, dia pun benarkan student ntuk conduct..msa dorang dok cri2 firdaus, aku pun try ler nak kol tp last2 midwife tu suh aku je yg conduct coz x tau kemana hilangnya mamat tu..hehe mianhae firdaus..nmpaknya i have to take ur case..

msa aku dah prepare ntuk conduct, midwife tu asyik2 dok ulang yg dia nak firdaus yg conduct..ciss nmpak sgt gender discrimination kan..aku time tu senyum jek lah..x kan nak buat muke seposen plak..tp midwife tu baik jga mcm kak suriati..dia xdelah mrah2..siap bgi arahan 1-1 how to conduct..kali ni bleh dikatakan 99% i conduct the delivery..hehe baby aku yg kuarkan plus the placenta..but i still failed to evacuated the blood from uterus..aisey seram siot nak korek dalam2..tak psal2 tersalah korek ke huhu..tp biler tgk midwife tu buat, slamber bdak je dok korek dlm2..yg madam nia tu plak comey btol..dia komplen sakit tp dok ketawa je mcm kegelian..

dis time my 2nd baby oso boy,3.3kg n out at 1.27pm (10/10/2010)…alhamduliah sumenye brakhir dgn jayanya..but this pt got tear coz she had episiotomy..hoho nasib ler midwife tu yg jait..i really dun have any courage to jait luke org esp kat part2 yg private tu hoho…

ekceli msa aku dah hbis conduct 2nd delivery tu, firdaus pun muncul..hehe nak tak nak trpksa ler dia ambik kes aku yg awal2 td..so kurang ler rasa brsalah aku kat dia..at the end he oso manage to conduct 2 times..msa tu he conduct wif dr jauty..Lol lawak oo dr jouty tu..comey btol..innocent je rupe..byk btol mistakes yg dia terbuat smpaikan truk kene buli dgn midwife haha..

around 4pm ros came joining me..ekceli dat time i ady got consent to take case GDM tu..but since i ady conduct twice, so decide to give chance to ros plak..somemore i ady feel tired..smbil2 kmi monitor pt tu, we got chance to witnessed vacuum delivery which was done by Dr Azizi..the pt is primigravida..kesian btol kmi tgk coz dia brabis teran tp kpala baby tak descent2..

at first suasana quite meriah ler coz dr jouty n dr azizi dok bgi smngat kat pt..me n ros oso joining bgi smgat kat pt..after omost 1 hour still at stage 2, midwife n dr try to assisted the delivery by helping apply direct pressure to the mother’s uterus..when the mother tgah ajan, dorang pun dok tekan perut mother tu tolong baby ntuk descent..2 kali dorang try but failed..at first dr jouty yg apply the pressure..then midwife ganti..midwife tu smpai dduk skali atas bed pt..adoii klau tgk mmg kuat giler midwife tu tekan perut smbil tolak ke bwah..at last they decide to using vacuum to delivered the baby coz the baby seems in risk of fetal distress..

smpaikan dr amory pun kene pngil ke tmpat kejadian..adoii mmg cemas giler le keadaan time tu..dah ler msa kuarkan kpala baby tu, the vacuum terlepas from baby’s head..nasib ler dr sempat hold kpala baby from termasuk balik..alhamdulilah baby manage to out safely..but need to do resuscitation coz got fetal distress..

finished with the case, me n ros dok lepak kat “kaunter” tu smbil belajar psal Apgar score dgn fr jouty..hehe dr tu mmg baik laa..sempoi jek..smbil2 kmi dok mnggu biler la pt GDM tu nak bersalin, suddenly ada ura2 yg pt tu will undergo EMLCS coz from CTG fetal heart rate seems not so good..

aisey xdelah chance ros nak conduct del..but nvm coz we able to observe the operation wat..dr jouty ni plak sempat lgi buat lawak biler nk inform pt psal operation tu..expression dah ler hapy giler..then dr azizi tegur lah awat excited sgt coz brita yg nak dikhabarkan bukannya brita baik pun..dr J ckp kat pt yg dia ada 1 brita baik n 1 brita buruk..brita baiknya baby will out at 10/10/2010..but brite buruknya the pt need to undergo EMLCS..

sedey kmi tgk biler pt started to cry when she heard bout the news..ekceli the pt not afraid bout the operation..we believe deep in her heart, she’s ekceli really worried bout her baby coz previously she’s ady had history of IUD..

dat nite, the pt successfully undergo the EMLCS which done by dr Amory…hehe msa pt kene usung p OT, me n ros brlari mnuju ke OT mngalahkan dr yg nak perform the operetion je..hik3 bukannye ape, kmi takut terlewat smpai baa..aku time tu dah ler takde bwa inner n tudung spare..so nak tak nak i just wear the green cap only..lgipun time tu dah mlm maneda classmated yg len pun..firdaus plak dah lama balik..

midwife from labour room terkejut tgk kmi coz awal2 dah ready d OT..hoho ini membuktikan kesungguhan kmi baa ^.^

7.25pm baby brjaya dikeluarkan..omo comey siott baby pt tu..baby boy 3.6kg..chubby giler!! rase mcm nak cubit2 je pipi dia..alhamdulilah both mother n baby are safe..yg paling menyetuh hati, biler kmi kluar dri OT, relatives pt tu approach us & asking bout pt condition..we told them no need to worry coz baby n mother are safe..they ask whether they can see the baby, we’re not sure bout that, but we just told them to wait for the mother back from OT n after her condition is stable, they can visit the mother with the baby..

msa kmi mnuju ke rest room ntuk ambik beg, we saw the baby inside the “baby’s room”..hehe soooo kiut! we did took some pictures of him..when we on our way back, we singgah dlu at level 2 to meet wif pt’s relatives n we showed them the baby’s picture..they all seem soooo hepi n thankful! oh god its hard to describe the feeling that time..both of us feel touch n hepi for them..

10/10/2010 definitely was a great and meaningful memory for me..in a single day i able to experience so many things..conduct deliveries..witnessed instrumental delivery..went to OT at nite time..and the most meaningful thing is able to share the happiness with others..

its really a great feeling to see baby yg kite sambut brada slamat di pangkuan ibunya..aaaaahh i feel like i oso wanna to have baby ASAP(n.n)

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so far i managed to conduct 3 deliveries..at last my 1st baby girl born on 12/10/2010 at 11.15am..adoii hri tu mmg byk btol dugaan before i got chance to conduct the delivery..

me n ros went to hosp at 4.30 am n decide to stay till class finished..somemore our gp mmg d labour room pun pagi tu..but dat time pt tak byk pun..ada pun kes primigravida..so x bleh nak conduct..ros je ade pt..then till 8 lebih cam tu dorang vinsern pun smpai..time tu i manage to cop 1 pt G10p9..adoii but end up failed to conduct coz during the CTG, FHR show bradycardia..pt tu hmpir diusung ke OT but at last managed to vaginal delivery..ekceli os dia bru buka 5 cm time tu, dats why dr decide to perform EMLCS..skalinya biler Dr yew kluarkan his magic hand, the os omost full dilatation..so end up no EMLCS needed, just the SVD..but the case was taken by Dr Azhar..adoii takpelah..bukan rezeki sy ntuk conduct kot..

yg geramnye, dorang kawai kan lambat smpai..tp dorang dgn luckynya dpt conduct delivery awal dri kmi haha..ada 1 pt ni bru je msuk x smpai stgah jam trus bersalin..hmm bertuah btol si kawaai ni..vinsern plak since xde chance nak conduct, he just assisted the case of hep B..prema oso got chance to conduct..aigooo sedey siott…me n ros dtg since 4.30 am but still x chance to conduct..maybe inilah dinamakan nasib kan..if diikutkan dorang sume dpt conduct dat day..just me n edith je x peluang..c firdaus plak x tau mana mghilang…dlm kul 10 lebih tu edith dpt pt..

i decide to accompany her if we x managed to attend the lect at 12pm..msa tgh timing contraction pt edith, suddelny ade 2 new pt msuk..but sygnya 1 tu ade PIH n another 1 ade GDM..omo mmg x rezeki btol..but i ady got conset from the GDM pt..she give me green light..but midwife not allowed me to conduct since the pt has GDM..but i still x putus asa, n keep on stay by pt’s side..

during the admission the os only open 5cm..but since the pt looks really in pain n mcm ada tnda2 nak labour, 2nd ve done n suprisingly the os ady 9cm!! omo! so fast one..then ada 1 midwife ni bgi kebenaran me ntuk conduct..yeeeaaahhh at last!! akhirnya tak sia2 jga penantian sy..

mmg senang siot nak delivered baby yg 3rd ni..x sempat pun nak clean the genitalia dah nmpak kpala baby..rasanya x smpai 15 minit teran baby pun kluar..

for me the 3rd experience quite meaningful coz i started to manage the pt since early till the end..msa pt bru msuk labour room, i start approach her n have a chat..during the delivery, cam biasa i did everything except for the blood evacuated n jait2 thing..but after midwife tu siap jait, dia trus hangover pt to me..so i do the cleaning, pakaikan pad,n tukarkan bju pt tu sume..

the next day i went to post natal ward to pay a visit..hehe of coz ler pt still recognize me..aaaaahh day by day i started to enjoy this posting so much!!

thanks to all mama yg bagi peluang for me to conduct the delivery…thanks oso to the midwives yg byk bgi tunjuk ajar..i hope i have another chances to conduct more delivery..

 

Ya Allah, semoga Engkau permudahkanlah segala urusan kami..bagilah kami kekuatan untuk menempuh segala dugaan dan cabaran..bantulah kami sekiranya kami dalam kesulitan dan kesusahan..amiinn..

 

1st baby boy - 3kg

10/10/2010 @ 11.29am

p/s: cian..kene letak dlm kotak for awhile d/t

fetal distress..

 

 

 

2nd baby boy - 3.3 kg

10/10/2010 @ 1.27pm

p/s: chubby n putih siot..mum dia bugis but papa dia

chinese

 

3rd baby girl - 2.95 kg

12/10/2010 @ 11.15am

p/s: adey xde gaye baby girl kan coz rmbut dia x bape

lebat..tp x pe..still maintain cute =)

-The End-