WeLcoMe To mY wOrLd

 

hmmm…

i’m sorry..

dah lama kite kwn..

yet i still fail to understand u..

i’m really not a good friend rite..

miannhae..

each time we have “fight”..

i owez think dat i’m the one dat hurt..

i never realize that u oso got the same feeling as mine..

i want u to understand me,

but i never try to understand u..

u said each time we have fight,

u’ll be the one yg mengalah..

is it true??

hmm cannot say 100% true lah..

yaa at the end, seems like u’re the one that mengalah..

but if u think carefully,

in the early phase, i’m the one dat mengalah first..

and u owez like to main tarik tali wif me..

i say sorry..

but u ignored me (T.T)

then u acted cool..

dun want to talk to me or even look at me..

usually it will last for 1 week or even more..

my prinsip is easy..

once i been ignore..

i will like giving up..

i will think that,

“k fine..he dun want to accept my sorry..

just leave him alone..nnti pndailah dia baik sndri”

i never realize that u ekceli want me to take the next step..

u want me to tegur u first..

ermm wif ur condition yg owez looks hot..

how am i have courage to do that?

ekceli sometimes i feel like to do so..

but once i look into ur eyes..

or juz by see ur kelibat dri jauh..

i can sense the “hotness”..

so, i juz give up before i put some effort to do so..

in other words,i ekceli afraid to be rejected..

dats why i juz leave u alone..

by acting like dat..

am i ego?

hmm i dunno lah..

for me,

i’m more like “afraid to accept the bad result”

i dun want to be ignored for the 2nd time..

dats why i choose to give up..

haiizz if dats oso can be consider as symptoms of ego..

looks like my ego is higher than u..

coz u said that at the end,

u’re the one that have to sacrifice ur ego,

in order to break the ice..

 

wait a minute..

i juz realize something..

before this i keep on asking why each time when i say sorry

its hard for u to accept it,

but then, when u start approach me, it really easy for me to

accept it??

i owez feel this is sooooooo unfair~!!!

hmm..its ekceli have something to do wif “ego”..

now i really think we both have ego..

the differences is,

ur ego start at the early phase..

while my ego start in the middle of fight..

soon as i feel ignored..

why u hard to accept my appologize at the beginning?

its becoz ur ego at that time is sooooooo high..

full volume ler katekan..

then why easy for me to accept ur “sorry” at the end??

its bcoz the strength of my ego juz mild2 one..

if u realize, i put pembuka kata at the word sorry rite..

why leeh??

haha bcoz u ekceli not directly say sorry to me..

its happen so many times oredi..

ekceli i really x puas hati wif that..

seems like i’m the one that appologize to u..

and u didnt even apologize to me..

but then now,

i believe that once u already start to approach me at the end,

u ekceli indirectly want to show that u ekceli did appologize

to me..

its ekceli hard to directly say sorry bcoz of the EGO rite..

just now…

i again did the same mistakes..

ekceli i cant hold it anymore..

dats why i shoot u wif all the statement..

well..pompuan..mmg mcm ni..

owez bertindak melulu kan..

huhu at first i did sense that u’re lying to me

about the book..

but when u start to put the blame on me..

i suddenly feel a bit hot…

so try my best to defend myself..

then ur voice seems so stress..

in my mind, i start to think that

why i owez cause stress to u..

everything that i did seems wrong in ur eyes..

mianhae..

i’m really bad in interpreting data from u..

sometimes u complaint dat i’m easily get irritated wif jokes..

ekceli not like dat laa..

i oso dunno wat happen..

my action was too fast compare to my rationality..

sometimes i feel like to react wif this kind of reaction..

but yet i owez did the opposite kind of reaction…

haizz its hard to control involuntary action leeh..

hmm now i really dunno wats ur conditon..

do u still angry wif me??

do u still tersinggung wif me??

i hope no such thing lah k..

its my bad said those things to u..

i bet u must trasa wif my statement

regarding previous entry..

i once mention that

“when u need me, u treat me nicely..when

u don need me, u act cool to me”

hmm how to say aa..

yeahh those thing once bermain2 dlm fikiran..

but its juz a dilema only..

i’m not accuse u wif the statement..

coz somehow i still believe that u’re really sincere to be friend

wif me..

its juz bcoz each time we have fight..

we have it at the wrong situation and timing..

wat i mean is..

we owez fight at the moment that i need u the most..

its owez like that punya..

i oso dunno why..

dats why i owez think that when people need me,

i owez available for them..

but each time i need someone’s help..

i hardly to find people that really available for me..

once again i’m sorry for any mistakes that i did..

i’ll try my best to become a good friend..

a friend that can satisfy ur need..

i cant guaranty it, but i will try my best..

 

 

         

 

 

- The End -