WeLcoMe To mY wOrLd

Pada tanggal 27hb Februari 2010, genaplah umur aku 21 tahun...Masa berlalu begitu pantas, sedar x sedar aku kini boleh dikira as pre-adult...


Haha tapi memandangkan orang2 sekeliling aku almost sebaya dengan aku, so, takde lah rasa sangat yang diri ni dah tua ^^


Aku tak rasa pun yang diri aku ni sorang dewasa...coz kalau tengok dari segi perangai, memang kalah budak2...haizz memang x sedar diri betul kan?


Selama 21 tahun aku hidup kat muka bumi ni, aku rasa x banyak yang telah aku contribute untuk diri aku serta for my family...


Aku rasa perkara yang boleh membuatkan family aku proud just my achievement in education...tapi tu sume crite lama...before aku entering kehidupan as pelajar university...


Kalau nak direcap balik zaman kanak2 aku,


Aku boleh dikatakan samalah macam kanak2 seusia aku...nakal tak hengat...klau time kecik dulu, aku ni bleh dikire “ganas” gak la...coz kawan2 aku kebanyakannya budak2 laki...memandangkan aku ni tinggal kat dalam kawasan kilang, most of them anak kawan2 abah aku....and all of them are Chinese...sebab masa tu, just family aku jek malay kat kawasan tu...yg len kebanyakannya chinese, filipin n bugis...haha rasa mcm tngal kat luar negara jek kan...mcm2 bangsa ada...klau bagi org2 yg first time dtg tmpat aku, msti rasa “janggal” coz tgk rmai btol PTI kat situ...ekceli most of them bukannya PTI...dorang ade dokumen yg sah...since aku dah lama tnggal kat situ, takdelah rasa tak selamat ke ape...dorang sume ekceli baik je dgn family aku...so x pape yg perlu ditakutkan..


Permainan aku time kecik2, takde maknanya nak main barbie doll tu sume, aku dulu suke giler main bubut2...klau term melayu a.k.a men kejar2...then, aku ske gak men “lawan2”...bukanlah bertumbuk...tp men aksi2...tiru aksi power rangers or otromen...mmg over giler laa...hmm men tapok2 a.k.a sembunyi2 pun aku ske gak...biasanya kmi akan jadikan kilang sebelah rumah kmi tu as markas persembunyian...kadang2 tu smpai panjat atas kayu2 lgi...punyelah ganas aku dulu...tp takdelah ganas smpai penah blasah org...


Dulu penah ada fenomena “kreta control”...krete control tu boleh dikatakan besar gak laa...mmg femes giler la permainan tu...most of aku pnya kawan2 ada kreta control tu...so ade skali tu, masa g kk, abah aku belikan adik aku farhan kreta control tu...ekceli aku pun nak...tp abah aku x nak belikan ntuk aku...coz dia ckp mana seswai dak pompuan main...lgipun bleh share2 main dgn adik aku...huhu pnyalah geram time tu...so, balik tu ape lagi...mogok lah...n then last2 abah aku belikan jga kreta control tu kat aku...keh3...buruk giler prangai aku dulu kan??


Oh ye pngalaman pahit time aku kecik2 dulu, aku pernah patah tangan kanan aku...tak brape ingat plak umur brapa..rasanya dalam 9/10 tahun mcm tu...time tu aku main lompat getah dgn kwn2 aku..kmi main kat pelantar rumah...kirenya mcm beranda lah...rumah aku tu lebih kurang mcm rumah panjang kat Sarawak...sape2 yang penah pegi rumah aku tu tau lah mcm mana rupe rumah aku tu...masa tu, kmi main kat pelantar paling hujung, then penghadang kat tepi tu ekceli dah tercabut...time tu, aku yang pegang tali getah...then masa tgh rancak bermain tu, aku tak sedar yg aku terundur ke blakang n then “buk” terjatuh ke bawah through penghadang yg berlubang tu...masa jatuh tu aku still berlagak kool coz aku tak rasa sakit...just rasa kebas2 jek...skalinya biler aku balik rumah n nak mandi, aku rasa sakit sangat...tangan kanan aku langsung tak bleh terangkat...huhu rasanya time tu barulah aku start nangis...mak aku dah panic dah time tu...trus abah aku kene kol n aku kene hantar p berurut...mmg time tu parents aku x hantar aku ke klinik...maybe takut tangan aku kene simen kot...


Aku ingat lagi, tukang urut tu chinese...rasanya kawan abah aku yg tolong rekemenkan tukang urut tu...huhu bleh tahan sakit gak org tu urut...smpai nangis aku dibuatnya...erm lama jgalah tangan aku tu berbungkus...tp after mak aku bawa aku berurut dgn sorang makcik kat tmpat tnggal kmi tu, kejap je tgn aku dah baik...haizz klau tau awal, tak yah susah2 g kk berurut haha...


---------------------------------------------------------------------------


Asyik crite sal prangai buruk jek...prangai baik takde ke?


Haha well, aku ni dulu, klau nak crite sal prangai baik, maybe 1 jek...quite rajin laaa dlm study...aku dulu klau sekolah rendah, slalu gak dpt top 10 dlm exam...paling cemerlang aku pernah dpt tempat kelima kot...time tu manada chance nak rebut top 3 coz aku dulu study dlm bhsa cine...but for me, it’s gud enuff if i can get top 10...masa tu dlm kelas, most of classmates aku dak cine n dak kadazan...just 7/8 org jek muslim...kmi klau kelas pendidikan islam, trpksa lah pegi library coz kelas digunakan ntuk pendidikan moral...


Then klau nak tau, aku ni dulu active gak dlm aktiviti pengurusan ni sume...aku dulu penah jdi penolong ketua kelas n oso pengawas since drjah 4 till darjah 6...ekceli thanks laa dkt sorang cikgu ni...aisey aku lupelah nama dia...tp dia ni dulu guru disiplin...oso merangkap guru tuition aku...klau habis sekolah, dlm 3x seminggu aku msti g rumah dia tuition...cikgu tu baik giler...penah dulu dia guide aku dlm wat preparation ntuk pertandingan bercerita...aku x hingat ler plak tajuk crite tu..rasanya ade kaitan dgn sang kancil...hehe u know wat...aku brjaya dpt tempat ke-2...then, cikgu tu gak lah yg lantik aku jdi pengawas...


Erm nama jek pengawas...tp klau time perhimpunan...confirm muke aku jek yg pengsan...tak tau ler...tp dulu aku mmg x bleh tahan diri lama2 dlm keadaan yg sesak n panas...x smpai ½ jam confirm pitam...so aku dulu mmg benci giler hari isnin...coz ade PERHIMPUNAN...


Besides jdi pngawas, aku dulu active gak dlm kokum...aku dulu dgn c edith join pancaragam...aku rasa since darjah 1 aku join pancaragam tu...smpailah ke darjah 6...for me tu lah pengalaman paling manis time aku sekolah rendah...best giler join pancaragam...aku dulu starting dgn pemain seruling then move to trumpet n finally as drummer...tp aku lebih suke men trumpet...masa awal2 tu mmg susah gak nak blajar trumpet ni...dulu aku rasa mcm best jek aku men trompet tu...padahal sumbang mambang...tp lama2 praktis akhirnya aku get the tone...aku suke klau part high pitch coz low tone aku lemah skit....haha maybe starting men trumpet tu suara aku jdi lantang???klau musim kmi ade “show”, aku slalunya akan bawa balik trumpet tu coz nak praktis kat rumah...keh3 mmg bergema satu kilang dgn tiupan trompet aku...tp dun worry...aku main takdelah teruk ngat...ok what....


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


Habis sal sekolah rendah....masuk crite sal sekolah menengah plak...


Mcm yg aku dah story before this, form 1, aku x bersekolah d papar coz family aku pindah p kk..so slama 1 tahun aku study kat SMK (P) LIKAS...sek pompuan...klau aku tak pindah p kk, confirm aku still sekelas dgn bestfwend aku edith n dayang...mmg sedih giler berpisah dgn dorang...bayangkanlah selama 6 tahun kmi study sama2..suddenly have to berpisah plak...aku rasa prkara yg paling aku terkilan coz aku tak dpt teruskan penglibatan aku dlm pancaragam...wat a waste...tp, if aku fikir positive site, sume yg brlaku ade hikmahnya...slama setahun aku study likas...dpt gak aku blaja bahasa arab...pda mulanya mmg aku x nak ambik coz aku rasa susah...tp abah aku ckp try lah dulu...skalinya mmg best...somemore ustaz yg ajar tu pun sempoi giler...ade gaye2 “ustaz zamri” dlm program “mari mengaji” at tv9 tu...mmg best giler blaja bhsa arab dgn ustaz tu...


Start sek menengahlah aku baru realize aku punya potensi dlm pelajaran...coz mase form 1 tu, 1st time dlm sejarah aku brjaya bolot tempat pertama dlm kelas n oso keseluruhan...masa dpt result tu mmg aku tak percaya...hehe abah aku siap hadiahkan aku PS1...happy giler time tu...


Since tu lah, aku mula ada tabiat bersaing n tak nak kalah dgn kawan2...if before this aku study mcm biase2 jek...takdelah aim nak bolot tempat 1st...yg penting result aku ok n x gagal...tp sayangnya msa exam akhir penggal 2...aku just dpt no 2..aku still ingat lgi nama pesaing aku tu...afifah amin...haizz tp otak dia mmg pandai laa...


Form 2 plak, aku pndah balik p papar...sebab nak kekalkan bhsa arab, aku x jdi pndah p SM st Joseph tmpat dorang edith, instead aku masuk SMK MAJAKIR...


Erm msa pndah p smk majakir tu, mmg rasa aloof skit coz most of them dah ade geng masing2...len lah klau bru msuk form 1...tp aku ingat yg tegur aku dulu was jue..1 of my best friend...then barulah aku mula rapat dgn dorang ct, bb n sadariah... geng kmi ni bleh dikatakan agak skema gak laa...coz keje kmi study jek...tp jgn plak ingat kmi ni x pndai bergosip...keje wajib tu d waktu lapang haha...cume kmi ni xde lah sekecoh dorang zul...klau dulu kmi agak anti gak dgn geng2 zul ni...coz dorang ni mmg bising giler...then suke sgt kondem org...as i mention b4, ct mmg x ngam giler dgn zul...klau brjmpa confirm gaduh jek...somemore ct time dulu2 mmg jaguh dlm “menjawab” haha...mmg menakutkan...hilang sgala kekiutan dia...kmi2 plak byk diam jek if kena usik2 dgn dorang...


Hmm kat majakir tu, pesaing terdekat aku known as hafizah jumat...b4 aku menyemak kat sekolah tu, mmg confirm pza yg bolot 1st place...hehe pas jek aku enter sek tu, ranking pza ade jatuh skit...klau tmpat 1st/2nd mmg muke2 kmi jek...3rd plak slalunya c nasruddin yg dpt n sometimes ct...


Aku rasa, msti c pza anti dgn aku...tp kmi xdelah smpai nak gaduh2..but klau tgk je dri lirikan mata mmg tau ler dia mcm tak suke kat aku hoho...adat ler kan...


hmm mmg zaman sek menengah zaman “kegemilangan” bgi aku...aisey bukannya nak berlagak...but, its a fact...result exam mmg ok tp bab2 kokum memang lembab yg teramat sgt...time tu aku mmg x suke involve aktiviti yg perlu melibatkan tenaga...aisey maybe tulah factor “kekiutan” aku kot ^^


then mase sek mngah, aku lgsung xde pegang ape2 jawatan...low profile ler katekan hahaha...just dikenali as student biasa...tp excellent in exam <----- lols x habis2 nak berlagak...hehe its true maa...PMR aku brjaya dpt 9A.. well at first mmg x prcaya lngsung...arab aku leh dpt A??alhamdulilah...wlpun ustaz aku kat majakir x sesempoi ustaz kat likas...but atas didikan ustaz jannuar...aku brjaya dpt A...ustaz tu bleh dikatakan garang gak...penah kmi sekelas kene denda pumping coz x siapkan keje arab...adeh mmg memalukan...kalu laki x pelah...ni pompuan pun kene wat skali...tp aku dulu mmg suke subjek arab...klau volunteer kene suh baca / mnghafal kat depan...confirm muke aku yg kuar...mcm minta puji jek kan haha...well maybe sal tu lah ustaz sayang kat aku hik3...


Due to my excellent result in PMR, abah aku briye sngguh nak apply aku msuk MRSM / sek sains kat kk...aku berkeras yg aku nak stay kat majakir coz aku x nak brpisah dgn kwn2 aku...hehe nasib ler application aku ke mrsm kene tolak...coz cikgu aku ckp, if pompuan mmg susah skit chance nak msuk mrsm...pza pun x dpt gak...tp kwn aku c nas tu brjya dpt mrsm Sarawak if x silap...so form 4 dia pun pindah p Sarawak...n klau nak tau, dia skang ni study arkitek kat jepun....mmg kin jeles ni....well tulah dinamakan rezeki...we never know wat will happen at the future...


Bile masuk jek form 4, haiz subjek yg aku x brape suke ialah EST...english in science n technology...aku ni klau bi biasa pun dah bebal ni kan lgi English in sains n tech...lgi lah bebal hak3...whereas subjek faveret aku mstilah kimia n math...add math plak still bleh masuk...erm tp klau fizik...mmg susah skit lah...aku mmg x suke dgn fizik coz byk formula n teori hukum2 yg kene diingat...biology plak...not so interested but if compare to fizik i rather take biology...tp obviously aku mmg suke kimia...haha x tau ler if factor guru ade pengaruhi keminatan aku tu...klau classmate aku yg len, if time kimia jek confirm dorang tertido lam kelas...coz suara cigu fadzli tu mmg leh wat ringtone tido...tp klau aku plak...mata msti segar jek n will be paying full attention time kelas..


So based on aku pnya keminatan tu, for SPM aku brjaya dpt 6A2B...yang B tu of coz ler fizik n EST...A1 plak just 3 jek...1 of it mstilah kimia ^^


------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dengan berbekalkan result SPM yg bleh tahan tu, aku pun apply matrik...ekceli 1st choice aku letak matrik Pahang...2nd barulah KML...kononya leh la balik kg slalu...coz jarak dri kg aku dgn matrik Pahang xde lah jauh mana...skalinya aku dpt KML...aisey ade r sedey skit coz trpksa duk berjauhan dgn family...dah ler dipisahkan dgn lautan...haha at least klau dpt matrik Pahang dekat jek kalu nak balik kg...tp, aku still hepi coz sama matrik dgn ct,mas n pza...at least ade gak kawan...


Hmm memandangkan b4 this aku dah penah crite sal khidupan aku kat matrik...so aku x elaborate pnjng sal tu...i’ll only crite sal kenangan spesel aku kat KML jek...


1st – since aku masuk matrik, aku dah mule pndai hidup berdikari...masa mule2 dtg tu mmg teruk gak homesick...mase mggu orientasi tu msti ngis ingat mak time nak tido huhu...lgipun time tu x rapat dgn rumet lgi...ditambah plak aku n ct duk len blok...then group kuliah oso x sama...mmg susah gak nak get used dgn environment baru....


2nd – aku x sngka yg rumet aku c ruth tu sama bufday dgn aku...mmg hepi giler biler dpt tau yg aku ade “twin” akeke...aku mmg kamceng giler dgn ruth...aku ske dgr dia bercerita coz dia brcrita penuh feel n kt bleh bayangkan ape yg trjadi...kngan manis me n my rumets, of coz ler suprise yg disediakan leh Julia n shidah....dorang 2 mule2 mcm wat2 lupe dgn bufday me n ruth...skalinya petang habis kelas tu...dorang celebrate our bufday d cafe...takdelah secara besar-besaran...just antra kmi2 jek..but its really meaningful for us...


p/s: haiizz tp x sngka kat ums pun aku leh trjmpa dgn 1 lgi “twin” aku...sama mcm ruth...she’s oso my rumet...ayoyo how come so many people sama birthday dgn me??lama2 leh hilang keunikan trikh birthday aku haizz


3rd – kenangan manis antara aku dgn classmates plak, mstilah kngan kmi p mkn kat manjarasa n oso trip to pantai...x sure plak pantai mana...pancur hitam kot...mmg best mkn kat manjarasa tu...coz restoran tu dkat laut...so smbil makan leh tgk view yg cantik...aku x ingat plak sempena ape kmi p sana...rasanya saje2 je kot...pas mkn kat manjarasa...kmi mrayau2 kwsan skitar smbil ambik gmbar...kwsan tu dkat dgn marin muzium...aisey to tell the truth spnjg setahun aku study sana..aku blum penah g marine muzium tu dgn kwn2...just penah g dgn family masa form 1 dulu jek...sgala taman burung n taman botanika pun aku x g melainkan dgn family time dulu2...coz aku klau outing dgn kwn2 confirm juz lepas kat UK or kwsan skitar bandar....


Whereas trip p pantai tu smpena “majlis perpisahan”...kmi pnya tutorial dulu mmg jarang wat aktiviti brsama...just trip manjarasa n lastly trip p pantai tu jek...tu pun ade gak yg x dpt pegi coz busy dating...haizz tolong lah...apelah salahnya luangkan masa skit dgn kwn2 sekelas...bukannya slalu...lgipun pasni x tau ler bila lgi kt dpt brjumpa kan...adehh tp malangnya aku bleh plak satu U dgn pasangan merostomata (belangkas) tu...mmg salute lah dgn hubungan dorang...since matrik smpai skang still brsama...coz dorang ni lain agama...yg laki islam while girl chinese..masa dorang kapel tu mmg kmi sume terkejut giler laa...tp kalu dah jodoh nak wat camne kan...


Hmm trip p pantai tu, for me boleh2 laa...coz ekceli aku x lah rpat sgt dgn classmates...somemore my best friend zahida oredi smbung study d mesir... nasib ler ade syiqa...my 2nd bestfriend....klau tak sorang2 jek lah...menu kmi time tu juz kfc jek...rasanya klau wat bbq bru best....then aktiviti kmi slain mkn, mstilah g men air...ade gak yg bantai g mandi...me n syiqa time tu mmg aloof skit lah...org tgh best2 men air, kmi bleh plak g mlepak kat tebing....coz time tu kmi dah boring men air...skalinya biler kmi balik dri tebing, dorang plak bru start nak g sana...so mase dorang sume brabis brgmbar kat sana...takde lgsung lah gmbar kmi berdua...haizz sedih!! Tp takpelah..still enjoy it keh3...pas puas main, kmi sume pun melepak kat gerai n pekena abc n air kelapa...time tu me n syiqa 1 meja dgn siti noraniza...hehe mmndgkan siti pun sorang yg pendiam kmi pun x brape bertegur sgt...tp still ok lah coz kmi satu group lab bio..


4th – wat bout my academic? Hmm msa masuk matrik ni, awal2 semester x de lah cemerlang mane...teruk giler result UPS (ujian penilaian semester)...asyik dpt C jek...aku rasa maybe coz transformasi bahasa kot...dulu kan blaja dlm malay..skalinya masuk matrik..everything in English...haizz..tp alhamdulilah result exam 1st semester quite cemerlang tp xde la smpai 4.0...then biler nak msuk 2nd sem tu prestasi start menurun...nasib ler result still ok...coz aku dah down giler after jwb paper math...for me klau math tu lulus dah kire syukur dah...tp amazingly, bleh dpt A-....huhu alhamdulilah....


Since kecik, my ambition nak jdi doctor...tp takdelah eager sgt nk kejar cita2 tu...klau study pun just sebab nak kekalkan prestasi dlm exam..same as biler masuk matrik..study just for exam...mcm x de matlamat nak kejar cita2 tu...


So biler habis matrik tu, mmg dlm dilemma gak coz x sure nak plih kos ape...my parents mmg briye suh aku go for medicine..aku ekceli takut nak ambik medicine coz susah...tp at last aku decide gak nak ambik medicine....yelah dah result pun quite good why not give it a try...alhamdulilah aku dpt...

-----------------------------------------------------------------


Akhirnya my destiny bring me here...in ums...as a medical student...


Masa dpat tawaran tu, mmg hepi giler...lebih2 lgi my parents...of coz la dorang bangga coz anak dorang dpt kos medic...sape yg x bngga kan...


Tapi selama 2 tahun aku menjadi medic students...aku mcm tak yakin yg aku bleh graduate as a medical doctor...


Masa 1st year dulu...seriusly aku mcm x paham ape ekceli yg aku blajar...like culture shock for me...coz b4 this result aku cemerlang jek...tp bile msuk dlm field ni...baru aku tau tinggi rendah langit tu...bru aku sedar the meaning of real competition...aku rasa mcm aku org paling bodoh antara sume classmates aku...every monthly test aku failed...klau fail sipi2 takpe jga...ni fail dgn “cemerlangnya”...sometimes rasa malu gak laa dgn kwn2...klau dulu aku bersedih coz tak dpt result yang cemerlang...x dpat A...tp skang, ape yg aku harapkan hanya lah lulus jek...cukup lah...klau nak get more mmg kene brusaha brabis lah...which i think hard for me to do so...coz wat i realize is...i dun study by heart...mcm aim study tu just for exam jek...b4 exam brabis mnghafal n then after exam otak trus automatically kena reformat...so wat the meaning of that?? As a doctor, we will deal with people life...tu bukan prkara main2...ntah ler...aku pun x tau...sometimes tu mmg ade lah kesedaran nak study...nak try pupuk minat for this field so that easy for me to understand what ekceli i’m study bout...tp susah...aku tak paham term study by heart tu...mcm mane nak wat??can u guys give me the tips?? Aku kdg2 envy gak kat org2 yg cepat catch-up ape yg dorang blaja...then dorang bleh explain well bile kene tnya...nape aku x leh wat mcm tu?? Sometimes qs yg just perlukan pemikiran logic ntuk jwb pun sukar bgi aku ntuk jwb...mcm soalan prof P...most of the qs common sense...but i cant even answer it...i just left it blank...manelah tak failed kan...


Aku paling trauma subjek epidemiology...coz mase 1st year dulu, aku dpt result paling teruk dlm kelas...mmg sandi lah...time tu revision week for final...aku dgn sifu p library ntuk study...but b4 that kmi p sst tgk result ,bile tgk result teruk giler...trus rasa down...aku nangis smbil kol my mom...mase tu aku btol2 tak yakin yg aku bleh teruskan perjuangan ni...btol2 rasa nak give up..rasa nak tukar kos...my mom still give me encourage to continue...she said try dulu...kalu btol2 tak dpt, nak buat mcm mana...haha yg paling terharu, keesokannya my parents dtg kk coz risau bout me...siap ade bawa laksa lgi hehe...after that adelah rasa ok skit..


However, after finish jwb final exam for 2nd sem tu....mmg x yakin bout my anatomy...tp for my patho n microbio i have sdikt keyakinan ntuk lulus...lgipun for microbio tu prof M dah bgi byk tips...pathology plak byk ulang past year qs...so still have chance ntuk lulus...


Biler dpt result, as been expected...i need to take supplementary exam for anatomy...then plus 2 more paper mase sem 1...total paper yg aku kene ambik = 3


Aku rasa masa kelas supplement tu baru aku paham ape ekceli yg aku blaja slama ni...maybe gak time tu skit jek org...so mmg aku pay full attention dkt ape yg Dr ajar...lgipun takut gak incase kene soal...klau dulu takpelah, confirm ade kaki2 volunteer mcm dorang pei jie nak tolong jwb...skang ni just depends dkt diri sndri lah...nasib gak lah dr byk bgi tips dkat kmi...somemore dr just focus part yg akan kene soal jek...tp yg paling bengang of coz lah kelas epi...coz Dr ckp dia will only put qs brdasarkan ape yg telah dbncang dlm kelas...biler jwb soalan epi hri tu...jauh panggang dari api...lgsung x sama...tp yg pasti omost same mcm soalan final exam...haizz mmg terbuktilah yg aku ni bebal module epi...wlpun repeat soalan final but still cant answer....huhu nasibler bleh pass module tu...klau tersangkut, trpksa lah aku repeat year...


Ekceli sepanjang supplement period tu, aku berterima kasih kat chalen,edith n amin coz byk tolong aku dlm study...rasanya starting dri sana kmi mula buat study group...ekceli masa final exam tu, aku mmg ada wat study group dgn sifu n chalen...tp biasanya kmi start last2 minute...mcm a day b4 paper tu, mlm tu bru kmi start diskus...aku mmg susah skit nak paham if study sorang2....tp klau chalen n sifu, dorang mmg bleh catch-up if study sorang2...so sometimes kalu kmi wat discussion, ade certain2 part dorang dah paham tp aku still lgi merangkak-rangkak nak paham...mmg melambatkan proses discussion jek huhu...however still thanks to them coz ade gak mmbantu aku sdikit sbyak....


After entering second year...


Mmg berazam x nak mengulangi kesilapan time 1st year dulu....klau dulu, asal kelas jek msti tertido...x tau ler...eventhough duk row ke-2 pun leh tido...just kelas dean jek mata owez alert haha...


Hmm aku rasa pemahaman aku trhadap dunia medicine ni ade r improve skit...aku mula start focus during lecture...try to siapkan nota awal2...n masa revision week for final sem 1, me n amin oso ade wat study group...n mmg i gain a lot from it...coz aku rasa, aku lebih cpat ingat if ade org tolong explain...klau aku baca sndri sometimes susah nak paham...well to tell the truth amin really a life saver of me....huhu arigatou gozaimas for ur help...


From my observation, amin ni ekceli senang paham ape yg dia blajar....coz klau dia study, dia suka berimaginasi...that’s why senang paham n ingat...somemore method “drawing” dia tu pun byk membantu...then, dia oso sorang yg suke explain kat orang wat he know...rsanya dgn tu dia lgi senang paham kan...for me plak, aku suke dgr org explain coz aku x reti nak explain...


Sometimes aku pun tak tau ape yg aku dah contribute ntuk amin spnjg kmi wat study group....coz the one yg explain, him....aku just jdi peneman dia jek...teman menghafal haha...hmm really sorry coz cannot contribute much in the study group....


Alhamdulilah sem 1, aku lulus for the 1st time...tp masuk 2nd sem ni, smngat tu makin lama makin luntur...skang ni dah nak masuk module GIT, our last module, but i still haven’t kemas kini notes for 1st module...asal habis jek monthly test, sume yg dihafal gone automatically.....ottukay?? so wat i have to do n must do is study!!!! Jgn lgi fkir bnda lain...sometimes aku ni tend ntuk serabutkan kpala aku dg masalah2 aku dgn kwn2 aku....padahal org len kool jek, aku jek yg down lebih2...


So, since aku dah berumur 21 tahun, aku rasa no need for me to bersikap kebudak-budakan....or easy word ambik kisah dgn ape org kata n ape yg org buat....cukuplah aku menangis demi semua tu...tp ekceli dgn menangis, aku rasa much better...rasa mcm hati ni plak kene reformat balik...hopefully aku bleh jadi lebih kuat ntuk menempuh segala yg bakal terjadi....aku rasa slama ni aku byk sgt letakkan harapan kat something, then bile things not run sprti yg aku inginkan, tu yg buatkan aku rasa down n depress....


Azam aku sempena my 21st birthday:


1. Aku harap Allah swt berikan aku kekuatan untuk menempuh segala dugaan dan cabaran.


2. Aku harap aku boleh bersikap lebih terbuka and berfikir secara rasional when encounter any problems lebih2 lgi yg berkaitan dgn kwn2 aku.


3. No more air mata.


4. Do my best for next monthly test n oso for final!! I dun want to kecewakan my parents.


5. Be strong girl!! Allah swt sentiasa ada di samping kita wlau ape pun yang berlaku.

25Feb 2010 Thursday


Wat a suprise today...i didn’t expect it at all...congrats ye kpda master mind n oso all the konco2 coz brjya buat suprise for my advance bufday...terima kasih banyak2...i really appreciate it...


p/s: entry kali ni maybe ade certain2 part akan buat certain2 pihak trasa hati n tersinggung...so sy minta maaf byk2...bcoz its hard for me to hold it anymore....i pretend to be hepi although i feel hurt...sy tau ada antra korang yg prasan especially amin...u owez notice bout my mood changes...u oso try hard to korek crite from me...but as u know...sy x reti nak crita guna mulut...so i will write bout wat ekceli yg sy rasa slama ni...so klau ayat2 sy mengguris hati korang...please forgive me...tujuan sy crite sal sume ni bukan brtujuan nak cri gaduh dgn korang or saje nak sakitkan hati korang...no...its not like that...i just need a medium to luah apa yg terbuku dlm hati sy slama ni...by that, i will be much better...


------------------------------------------------------------


Ekceli hri ni, dah lama sy plan dgn chalen n edith ntuk p kbox...lgipun chalen mmg briye sgt2 nak outing sama dgn edith...dorang 2 ni bukan ape...slalu jek xde jodoh ntuk outing brsama...tmbhan plak 2 ekor tu mmg liat skit bab2 outing ni...sebulan maybe sekali jek...x mcm kmi...hantu outing ^^ omost every week kuar...


Plan tu kmi rncang b4 cuti CNY lgi...lgipun hri ni kmi bru jek hbis our test...so mmg adat lah kuar after test...release tension konon...cume bezanya kali ni kmi just plan antra kmi 3 jek..not involves others..however mlm sblumnya, time sy d dwn study dgn amin, edith ada msj me n mention yg dia maybe x jdi nak join kmi...time sy dpt msj tu, mmg agak kecewa jga la...coz dh byk kali edith buat mcm tu..amin pun dah start prasan air muka sy nmpak agak x brsmngat n moody..hmm really sorry coz mghilangkan mood study kmu...but i’m glad that u didn’t ikut sma moody...coz previously if sy buat prangai mcm tu, kmu pun msti start moody gak n feel angry with me...however dat nite, u did sebaliknya...kmu try cheer me up..n u know wat...i really appreciate it...kmu brjya buat sy tersenyum...i owez feel dat u r the one yg brjya cheer me up during my hard time...tq very much...


Then sy pun msj ler chalen n inform psal edith x jdi join...oso asking her whether our plan still on tnpa edith...chalen ckp ye..tp since chalen ade mention yg dia will straight away balik rumah after berkbox, means sy kene balik ums sorang2 ..huhu tak berani...mmg dat time sy dah hilang mood nak outing ...tp, chalen convince me yg abg dia hntar balik hostel dulu b4 balik rumah...so sy leh tumpang skali...hmm if mcm tu takpe lah...tp dat time sy still ragu2...everything depends on tomorrow...klau ade mood outing, outing ler...klau x, x ler outing...ekceli nak je ajak amin skali..tp since dia dah mention sal lady’s day...so xleh nak ckp ape lah...somemore dia dh plan nak mkn kat pasar filipine dgn rumet2 dia...amin ade gak tnya nape x ajak dorang alynn skali...hmm its hard for me to say bout it...ekceli chalen oso prasan bout it...sy dgn alynn dah tak serapat dulu...klau tngal kmi berdua jek dlm bilik...mmg kmi tak brckap...rasa janggal....however i’m still glad that yg kmi still friend...i oso hepi for her coz have ros...bunyi mcm sy jeles kan? well its true...but wat to do...i have to accept it...everything has changed now...sume yg brlaku ade hikmahnye kan...


Hmm beside sal outing tu, ekceli there is another thing yg buat sy moody...its bout the pupuk program...i really dun want to go to kudat this Saturday...but R pujuk me to go...somemore she said that we need to find info regarding prkembangan study of anak2 kak ina n oso their immunisation status...mmg byk ler nak buat...if x pigi, susah ler kmi nak buat report nnti...ekceli sy ade gak ckp kat dia n suh dia p sorang tp since dia ckp yg kali ni, byk btol keje yg prlu dibuat,its hard for her to handle alone...wat to do...i have the responsibility as her partner...so i have to agree....seems like i will waste my day , i mean my spesel day by travelling to kudat...wuuu really2 dun wan to go...


Pagi ni (khamis), kmi mmg x de kelas coz our csl n praktikal postpone after test...however i still have to bngun awal bcoz we have pupuk supervisor meeting at 8.15am...so damn early...nasib ler pagi td tersedar jga...thanks to yen coz tlg kejut...smpai2 jek d csl lab, ingatkan leh trus jmpa dgn Dr...malangnya we have to wait bout half n hour...then biler dah jmpa, we thought its only took bout 10 minutes, bcoz previously with our previous supervisor, we really took only 10 minutes mcm tu coz dr just brief skit2 jek n mention yg he cant help us a lot n ask us to refer with seniors...tp yg bestnya, we able to get 3 signs although we only meet him once..tp, ntuk dr kali ni...jgn harap ler...he quite strict...but i still like him because bru skang sy realize ape yg ekceli we need to do...dr ade ckp yg dia a bit ragu2 with our performance towards this program...he think yg kmi ni mcm take things so lightly n x so commited regarding this task...ekceli i dun feel sad bout wat he said...but feel more motivated...somemore dr oso give us some guide n advice wat we should do during our next visit..so, after meeting with him, rsa smngat plak nak g kudat sabtu ni...i really want to proof to dr yg we really go there n did something...just wait n see..


---------------------------------------------------
After slesai meeting...about kul 9.30...i straight went to discussion room to study...bcoz if balik bilik, confirm sy tido n x kan study pnya...hmm first2 rsa takut gak g dr sorang2...tp still gagahkan hati jga...klau nak g library jauh plak nak jlan..nasib ler time sy g dr tu, sorang manusia pun sy x trserempak...takut gak incase dak 3rd year ade kelas time2 tu...


Smpai2 jek kat dr...sy switch on aircond 1st...huhu the weather really killing me...after that, sy kol kak ina n mention psal lwatan kmi nnti...she did mention yg this time we might have chance to meet with our foster parents...wat a glad...me n R haven’t meet with them since our 1st visit...so for sure we will gain more info bout the family later...


Pas kol kak ina, rsa rindu plak kat maa...so sy pun kol ler my mom...nasib ler time kol tu my mom x busy...klau x ,msti kene mrah...sy saje je kol coz nak inform psal lawatn g kudat tu...mane r tau incase my family nak dtg kk sabtu ni...so takut gak if pisang brbuah 2x mcm last time...my family saje x nak inform yg dorang nak dtg kk dat day, my mom siap buat kelupis lgi...tp sygnya dat day kmi brtolak p kudat...hmm time my mom kol tu, rsa brsalah gak coz didn’t inform them awal2...so sorry...besides that, saje je tnya sal prkembangan d rumah...well mcm biase...c pahmi tu mmg brtmbah nakal n ade jek prkara yg leh induce kemarahan my mom...sabar jek la....then me oso ada ask psal kiriman from my kazen...wether dah smpai ke blum...kok teh ade mention yg dia ade pos smthing ntuk sy smpena my bufday...my mom mention yg surat dah ade..tp kene g tuntut kat pjbat pos...n later she will ask my dad bout dat...then sy mention gak sal test kul 2pm nnti...my mom mcm biase lah pray all the best for me...thanks maa =)


Hmm tgh rncak2 borak dgn mak sy, suddenly pntu dr kena buka...aisey terkezutt sy bila nmpak prof P...erm nasib ler time tu sy tgh brckap kol, so prof P pun tutup ler balik pntu tu..tp seems like he dlm kesusahan jek...x lama pas sy hbis brckap dgn my mom, prof P dtg lgi tmpat sy...rupe2nya prof nak kunci galen...dia mention yg supposedly ada kelas kan skang...sy time tu x expect pun kmi yg ade kelas...ingatkan dak2 3rd year...sy ckp ler kat prof yg sy xde kunci tu..prof ckp ler, if nmpak someone yg ada kunci galen inform him...sy just angguk jek...adehh buat sy kecut perut jek time tu...nasib ler kelas tu kene wat d galen, klau d dr x tau ler mana sy nak bwa diri...


Tak lama pas prof kuar, sy dgr mcm bnyi ade org kuar msuk dr6...haizz sape lah plak ni...jgn jek dorang msuk dr7...rupe2nye c pei jie...hmm maybe prof p kol pei jie asking bout the key...smpat gak ler pei jie tu p jenguk2 sy kat dr...nasib ler dia x join sy study sana...tp dia smpat lgi offer nak hntar sy balik time tgh hari nnti...coz dia mmg nk balik lunch...but sy refuse...lgipun klau nak balik bgus sy balik dri td...so no meaning klau nak balik later...


After pei jie brlalu msuk dr6, sy pun meneruskan my revision...hmm best gak study kat dr...nasib gak sy smpat teguk Nescafe ntuk breakfast...so xde ler rsa mengantuk...tgh2 study tu, dpt msj dri amin...he ajak lunch...tp memandangkan sy oredi d dr, xdpt ler nak lunch sama...tak lama pas amin msj, edith plak msj...dia tnya whether sy dah p galen blum...sy bg tau ler yg sy dah lama stay d dr...then edith pun mention yg dia will join me later...meaning that dia omost otw ler ni...tp tnggu pnya tnggu, lama jga c edith ni...x smpai2 pun...time tu sy dah x dpt focus study...coz boring terperuk sorang2 kat dr...rsanya dlm kul 12 lebih edith smpai....hmm patutlah lmbat, rupenye g sngah Mcd dulu...sempat gak edith offer French fries...arigatou na...sy mmg lapar time tu coz didn’t take any meal since pgi lgi...sy just mkn biskut n kuih jek...bleh2 laa wat alas perut...


Tgh2 study tu, X lama, suddenly amin plak muncul...isk3 terkejut gak sy...dia x ckp pun nak dtg awal...so kmi 3 pun study sma2...smpat gak ler bincang2 ape yg patut...


Tp lama kelamaan, makin rmai plak manusia yg menyerbu dr7 tu...haizz trus hilang konsentrasi study...makin terasa tense n aura test yg just tngal <10 minutes jek lgi...huhu pasrah jek laa...hopefully tips yg Dr bgi tu btol2 berguna...klau qs x sama as tips yg diberi...mmg mati laa...coz we only study based on tips...topic2 len lgsung x sentuh...mmg risky giler ...


When melangkah msuk dlm galen...aisey tngal kmi2 jek yg blum take our seat...coursemate yg len sume dah x sbr2 nak jwb test...huhu plan nak cri tmpat duduk blakang2...skalinya seat dpn2 jek yg kosong...dah ler depan giler...btol2 mnghadap white board...me n amin duk seblah mnyeblah..edith plak duk blakang amin...c amin tu smpat lgi pesan nnti tulisan biar besar2...klau kecik2 susah plak dia nak skodeng..haha ampeh btol la...


So masa yg ditunggu2 akhirnya tiba...alhamdulilah, soalan2 mmg most of them sama mcm tips yg diberi...tp, still agak sukar jga laa...Cuma 1 soalan jek terkeluar dri tips...instead of lymphoma yg kuar, tb2 ade soalan WBC disorder...monocytosis???huhu what’s the causes of monocytosis??haiyoo i just hantam oo...dorang amin pun ckp dorang hentam jek...sgala infection dorang tulis...huhu sy x mention pun sal infection..x terfikir lngsung...then soalan len yg sy tersangkut such as soalan DM (pathogenesis) huhu penah look through sekali..but x ingat...soalan pernicious anemia oso susah...part eliminate clinical features tu sy x tau...mcm mana nak bezakan pernicious anemia dgn anemia yg len?? Sy just mention jek sal insidious onset , occur due to vitB12 deficiency...x de pun explain lebih2...huhu pasrah jek laa...oh ye soalan bleesing disorder tu pun quite susah gak...part investigation...huhu mcm biase hentam jek..yg penting tulis jek...mane tau Dr baik hati nak bgi markah kesian...hope so!


---------------------------------------------------

Finally, 1 jam yg dibenci ntuk every month berakhir jga....alhamdulilah, wlpun byk yg hentam...tp tawakal je laa...ape pun markah yg sy dpt nnti sy redha jek...coz insya’allah i’ll do better in the final!! Huhu wlpun hazab dah habis, as i mention b4, we all still got class...dorang alynn best r just praktikal lukis2 jek..msti kejap je dorang...kmi plak kene csl...dah ler Dr M yg lead...huh confirm lambat...haiyoo x sabar nak p kbox ni...mmg dah decide, ada edit / not..plan msti jln pnye..chalen pun nmpak smgat giler...


Mase Dr M sibuk2 bgi briefing kat depan...fikiran sy dah start melayang...really2 cant concentrate...dah ler dlm bilik tu panas giler...rasa mcm nak pengsan jek...dgn gaya dr M yg nmpak agak kelam kabut...buat sy rasa makin rimas...huhu biler laa nak habis ni...then dlm kul 4pm..Dr lepaskan kmi to go for practice...haiyoo hopefully kmi x dpt Dr M...sy btol2 x mood nak practice...huhu skalinya kmi dpt Dr D...dia ade gak mention yg everyone must try...tp mcm biase laa...tts yg akan start buat..kmi sume observe jek...tp kmi pun ade r gak try2 buat...Cuma sy x brapa brkenan dgn sikap 1 groupmate kmi...biasanya dia akan refuse ntuk buat melainkan Dr paksa...alasan dia...x suke sentuh2 lelaki...haram...we all know that...tp klau kt dah msuk dlm this field...we have to...dun be acting like that...be professional laa...


Hmm after hbis csl, yeaahh msa yg dinantikan....its time to enjoy!!! Kali ni group kmi plak yg lmbat kuar..group chalen dah lame habis...time dlm bilik csl tu, just nmpak chalen jek..c amin dah lenyap...huhu lgsung x inform yg dia nak jln dulu...tp takpelah...maybe dia btol2 rushing kot nak uruskan “something” haizz...sy mati2 ingat yg dia x sabar g mkn kat pasar filipine dgn rumet dia...ampeh btol laa...


Mase kmi 3 dah nak gerak g 1B..tb2 edith plak wat hal...dia dlm dilemma whether dia nak g ke tak...coz dia mention yg abg w mrajuk dgn dia...ekceli since yesterday lgi sy dah accept yg edith will not join us...tp biler tb2 dia ckp nak join, sy ok jek...tp jgn ler plak last2 minute ckp x jdi lgi...its not fun at all...we give hope to other people then we destroy it...ekceli if edith btol2 x dpt join, its ok for me...lgipun sy n chalen pun xpenah outing ber2...lgipun sy x nak edith outing dlm keadaan yg serba salah...kmi kuar nak hepi2 bukannya nak moody2...mmg lama btol edith mo decide...smpaikan kmi dah kuar dri sktm, she’s still thinking...sy x tau ler whether this is part of the “plan” or edith btol2 dlm dilemma...c chalen plak mmg nmpak len btol...muke dia ceria jek...wlpun time tu dia komplen yg dia lapar, skit pun x nmpak air muka dia brubah tnggu edith wat decision...sy plak mmg hmpir2 hilang mood dah time tu...seriusly, klau edith still x wat decision, besar kmgkinan sy x jdi outing...dah ler time tu lapar giler...


Sy ckp kat edith, x pe lah if x dpt join this time, next time ler kt 3 outing sama...tp edith ade mention yg rugi kalau dia x pegi kali ni”..sy time tu pelik gak nape dia ckp mcm tu...haha now i get wat she mean...then atas pujukan chalen, edith pun agree ntuk pegi...huh wat a long wait...


At last, kmi ber3 pun berjalan ler kaki p 1B...first2 mesti lah g mkn dulu...sy ekceli nak mkn kat apple’s tp chalen plak nk mkn kat kfc...sy ni craving for rice...klau kat kfc trpksa ler mkn colonel chicken rice..huhu xnak...last2 sy just order snack plate jek...edith time tu x mkn pun...tp me n chalen pksa gak dia mkn..so kmi share2 ler..hehe quite fun oso...tgh2 mkn tu, suddenly dpt kol dri my mom...haizz nasib ler sy switch on my phone...ekceli b4 this sy decide nak off jek phone coz sy x nak org krim2 brg...somemore hanisa oredi know yg kmi outing...smpat gak dia krim relod..but sy smpat warn her jgn bgi tau org len kmi outing...lantak ler korang nak ckp sy jahat ke apa...seriusly dat time sy btol2 x nak trima kiriman org...oh ye balik kpada topic my mom kol tu, sy tabik ler dgn mak sy ni...asal sy outing tnpa pengetahuan dia, msti dia akan kol pnya...instict sorang ibu mmg kuat kan haha....nasib baik ler mak sy x mrh yg sy outing...ekceli mak sy just nak inform yg brg kok teh krim tu dah smpai...mak sy dah letak dlm almari sy...sy brabis tnya whether dorang dah buka blom brg tu...mak sy ckp jgn risau...haha bukan ape, kok teh tu yg briye ckp jgn bgi org len buka...sy je yg bleh buka...so sy ckp kat mak sy, nnti klau dorang dtg kk jgn lupe bwa brg tu...coz i guess sy x chance nak balik rumah dah...huh klau lah sabtu ni x pgi kudat...confirm sy balik mnggu ni huhu...


After slesai ckp phone, kmi 3 truskan perbualan...bleh2 crite sal instinct sorang mak kmi tukar topic g kes bayi yg kene bakar tu...huhu tp mmg kejam ler manusia yg buat prkara tu...tergamak dorang buang n bakar bayi...bodoh btol!! Klau ye pun x nak anak..bgi ler kat org...x prasaan perikemanusiaan btol laa...


Then suddenly, edith mention sal something yg ekceli sy x tau nak jwb apa...dia tnya napa sy skang ni x brapa rapat dgn alynn...outing pun tak ajak dia...ekceli chalen dah tlg ajak, tp chalen ckp sifu ade plan nak tgk movie dgn ros...sy pun tak tau nak respond mcm mana dgn soalan edith tu...dunno, maybe antara kmi dah x chemistry...edith tnya xkan ler start kes “cafe sktm” tu hbgna kmi jdi mcm ni...x tau ler..maybe gak both of us x nak bcome too close bgi mengelakkan prkara lalu brulang...x tau ler...susah ler nak ckp...its come naturally...lgipun she’s oredi has ros..takpelah...dorang pun nmpak hepi brsama....(sy asyik ckp takpelah...but the truth is...its not okay)...ottukay...as long as we still friend...it doesn’t matter kot...like wat i said b4...thing will not owez brjalan spt kehendak kita kn...so, ape2 yg brlaku in the future, we have to accept it...pasti ade hikmah ntuk sume yg brlaku...


Then after mkn, mata sy trpndang ke kdai dvd sbelah guardian tu..bru tringat sal adnan sempit...hehe msti dah kuar cd tu...excited gak ler g cari..skalinya bile tnya sales girl kat sana...dia ckp blom kuar lgi...huhu sedeynye...x kan ler blum kuar lgi...lmbat jga...kin spoil mood jek...tp takpe...cool baa...pasni kan nak berkbox...hopefully sgala stress n kesedihan dpt terubat...


-----------------------------------------------------

Yeah akhirnya masa yg ditunggu2 since 2 weeks ago....its time ntuk berkbox...x sabar nak men”sumbangkan” suara pasni...lantak ler suara best ke x...masa ni ler nak nyanyi brabis lgipun just 3 of us...x rasa kekok sgt nak nyanyi...


Chalen yg dulu mulakan upacara perasmian...dia nyanyi lgu avril...then follow by me lgu farah keh3...mmg hancooo gler lgu tu sy bawa...pastu edith plak lgu Isabella...me oso join nyanyi...waseh best gak nyanyi lgu tu..feel giler kmi 2..chalen mcm biase lah buat2 aksi “overacting” dia tu hahaha mmg menceriakan suasana...pastu lgu stacy gagap...sy yg choose lgu tu..ingatkan chalen tau...rupanya x...adeh x best plak sy nyanyi sorang...so half song skip jek...n bgi laluan kat chalen plak..haiz byk giler lgu yg chalen nyanyi..me n edith just interupt2 mcm tu jek...layaannn jek...masa dorang berduet lgu fergie..sy pun busy r cri lgu...rasanya tak lama pastulah...after sy habis cri lgu n syiok2 tgk dorang 2 nyanyi, tb2 pntu kena buka...sy btol2 terkejut time tu plus blur...aikk nape plak ni?wat happen??? Sy btol2 x prasan dgn kehadiran dorang amin..sy start back to reality biler dorang brjalan masuk smbil bwa kek n ckp suprise!!! hepi bufday!! Hahaha thankss~!!!!!! I really didn’t expect it at all!!! Really suprise me!!! Seriously sy tersentuh giler time tu....then korang nyanyikan lgi lgu bufday ntuk sy..hehe brtambah2 laa tersentuh...terima kasih banyak2...


Sy tau ni mesti keje c amin n chalen r ni...coz klau tgk experience b4 this, mmg kmi2 jek yg rajin wat planning...the others just follow jek...however, i appreciate korang pnya penat lelah...sy x tau ler mcm mana korang plan ni sume...later i want to know the whole story!!! So i cant elaborate more bout that...i hope chalen will crita dlm dia pnya blog hehe...thanks to all of u!! amin...chalen...sifu...edith...ros...ed... love u guys soooo much!!!


Starting sy admit its really happening...but lama kelamaan...hmm something’s wrong someway...the mood mcm agak down skit...erm maybe ape yg akan sy ckp ni will buat certain2 org terasa...but mcm yg sy mention awal2 td...in this entry, i will crita wat ekceli yg sy rasa dat day...napa sy still nmpak sedey n x brape ade mood...korang jgn plak fikir yg sy tak menghargai korang pnya pengorbanan ni...sy really2 appreciate it...haiyoo x tau ler nak crita mcm mana...susah...


First, edith refuse nak nyanyi wlpun time tu sume lgu tu edith yg plih n pda awalnya dia mmg briye sgt nak nyanyi...hmm sy rasa maybe edith segan kot coz rmai org...so since edith x nak nyanyi...org len ler yg konker...then amin oso nmpak x so interest with the kbox coz most of the songs not his type...hmmm after sy habis berduet lagu mayday dgn sifu...mmg jrg dah pegang mike...just jdi penonton jek...time tulah sy rsa mcm alone...wlpun korang sume ade kat situ...i still feel alone...ade skali tu, lgu yusry dekat padamu...sy x tau sape plih lgu tu coz sy just plih lagu smpai lgu mayday jek..since ros x interest mo nyanyi..so dia pass mike pda sy...seriusly sy x tau pun lgu tu ekceli lgu amin n sifu...time tu ade rsa len skit lah...but i try to hold it...sy x tau wat kind of feeling is that...jeles ?? or x puas hati??

-flashback-


Pastu sy tringat balik insiden kmi outing b4 cuti cny...to tell the truth, sy sedey coz x org nak teman sy tgk crita nabil...then biler sy habis tgk movie, chalen plak inform yg sifu n amin g tgk movie ...mmg sy x puas hati time tu...but i hold...then chalen n ros ajak kmi p kbox smntara tnggu dorang 2 hbis tgk movie...sy pun on je lah...mmg enjoy gak time kbox tu...leh hilangkan sgala kesedihan...then biler dorang 2 dah hbis tgk movie, dorang g tmpat kmi...time tu sy tgh nyanyi lgu farah...tgk riak muka amin pun tau yg dia x enjoy...suddenly dia dgn sifu kuar n p bilik len...n skali lgi sy trasa dgn tindakan dorang....


Tp sy x nak fkir byk sal tu...lgipun b4 this dah trima msj “nasihat” from amin...so klau sy tarik muka time tu, msti lgi menambahkan masalah...after kmi hbis kbox tu, sy byk kali msj n kol dorang 2 tp x kena layan...at last kmi decide ntuk cri dorang...jumpe pun...tp riak muka amin mcm x suke jek kmi join dorang...ekceli sy try to smbunyikan my kesedihan td dgn acting cool dpn dorang....nasib ler ade chalen time tu...i manage to hold my bad feeling dgn layan bergambar with chalen...

-back to story-



Bile tringat jek insiden tu sume, tak tau ler nak ckp ape...i just feel alone...after habis kbox...amin ajak men boling...chalen plak x join coz abg dia dah dtg jmput dia...edith plak dah lame balik...sifu mmg mention yg dia x men...then msa kmi otw nak p men boling tu...tb2 ros ckp yg dia ade benda nak beli...sifu teman ros p beli brg...so dia suh kmi 3 g men dulu...tp tnggu pnya tnggu...sy yg habiskan 4 games tu...ros lngsung x muncul2...since dorang amin n ed enjoy men, dorang tmbah lgi 1 game...sy plak mmg dah hilang mood...somemore sy blum lgi g beli relod kiriman hanisa n oso my phone hansfree...so sy beransur pgi dulu....msa g cri hansfree tu smpat lgi trsrmpak dgn dorang munir...then masa d giant plak, trsrmpak plak dgn karleen n michelle...karleen ade offer ntuk tumpangkan sy balik...hmm klau lah sy tau xde taxi...better sy ikut dorang karleen balik...x yah susah2 guna 2 taxi...msa sy g cari dorang kat tmpat taxi tu...once more sy trasa hati...however takde kaitan lgsung dgn usikan dorang coz msa dorang brgurau sal “goda pemandu taxi” tu sy oredi x interest with their jokes...sy just x sabar nak balik hostel....tu jek...


Msa dlm taxi, i get irritate dgr prbualan dorang....ntah ler...seems like byk btol prkara yg buat sy rsa irritated...smpai jek d bilik...ade jek insiden yg kin panas sy...paling x leh blaa si siti la...jahat btol oo...smpai hati dia x ingat bufday sy...dgn konfidennya dia ckp bufday sy 28hb...adehh sabar jek laa...masa tu, sy g hntar kek dkat siti..then ct tnya kek sape plak ni...sy pun buat2 mrajuk ler dgn ct n trus balik bilik...ct pun ape lgi g r bilik pujuk...haha lawak baa siti ni...brabis dia say sorry..then sy ckp takpe laa lgipun 2day bukan bufday sy pun...then ct pun ckp ler dgn knfidennya...haa yaa...ko pnya bufday kan 28hb...so bukan salah aku lah kan...aku ingat baa ko pnya bfday...hak3 siti2...wlpun sakit hati sy time tu...but takpelah...lawak plak tgk gelagat ct ni...apepun thanks ye for the wish...


Ok, i think oredi dah smpai ke pnghujung crita...sgala kekasaran bahasa harap dimaafkan...ape yg terjadi n ape yg sy rasa oredi sy coretkan d dlm entry ni...spt yg sy ckp b4 this, sy bukan bertujuan nak sakitkan hati korang....sy just luahkan ape yg sy rasa slama ni...tu jek...coz i feel lega biler dpt luahkan ape yg terbuku dlm hati slama ni...coz sy takut if sy pendam sume tu lama2...i afraid dat something really2 bad will happen...huhu i dun want to encounter dat anymore....hmm but no need to worry...i’m okay now...ambil yg jernih n buang yg keruh...sgala kenangan yg x best x usah lgi dikenang...tp yg pasti kenangan terindah dgn korang will owez brada dlm memori sy....1 of dat mstilah saat2 korang wat suprise ntuk sy...kamsa hamida~ i really appreciate it!!


Chalen: arigatou aa for the gift >>>>bantal lembu....btol2 kiut...n oso for the card =)


Sifu: xie2 ni de li wu n kad...haha tergelak sy biler bca ni de kad...lawak!! really creative!!

Yooo!!
haha so sorry guys coz its took me sooooooo long to update my blog....
well cam biase laa alasan sy...
busy...line x bgus...not in da mood to blogging...
but to tell the truth mmg mlas giler nak update ooo...
pham2 jek la klau sy...
if start menaip, mesti berjam2 kena stay dpan laptop...
haiyoo its omost killing me haha....


erm k laa...smbil2 sy layan drama korea "You Beautiful", i'll update my blog with not so latest story bout me n as being waiting by chalen for long2 period oredi...bout my mother's bufday...haha its oredi a month...
let's see how good my memory is *wink*


b4 tu, sy mo promot jap drama yg sy tgh layan skang...
for me drama tu best gilerrr~!!
coz plakon2 dia kiut2 (lawa n nsem) haha...
jln crita oso not bad n ada tiru style hana yori dango n hanazakari...
crite sal gurl distinguished as man n joined a band called A.N.JELL...
now i'm on ep 11 n there'll be 5 more to go b4 the ending...




sblom sy crita lebih lanjut bout my mom's bufday...
lets talk bout my bufday 1st hahaha...
ekceli last 15Feb...i oredi celebrate my sweet 21st bufday with my family...
why so early??lols...mak sy yg semangat nak smbut awal...
coz dia ingat sy cuti smpai hri selasa jek (16feb)...kbykan schools cuti kejap jek kan...
so mak sy x expect yg sy cuti seminggu...
kalu dia tau maybe leh postponed celebrate lmbat skit dlm hri sabtu mcm tu...
haha tp takpe la...yg penting kena celebrate jga baa ^__^


dis year main menu for the celebration was SATAY n NASI IMPIT >.<
previously if x mistaken nasi ayam...time tu sifu n edith join bermalam d rumah
n 2gether celebrated my bufday =)


haizz penat jga oo keje mencucuk satay ni...
tp bukan sy sorang jek yg cucuk...
my mom oso helping me hik3...
or in a correct word..i'm ekceli the one yg helping my mom ^^
daging2 sume my mom dah siap potong n just waiting for me ntuk mencucuknya akeke...
smbil2 mencucuk tu, cam biasa r dgr my mom berleter...
she said...klau nak tnggu kak long yg prepare sume bhan,
jwbnya seminggu lah bru dpt mkn satay ni haha...
haizz hati mmg panas~ but acting cool jek keh3...




hmm rasa2nya >100 cucuk satay yg brjya disediakan...
100 for daging n selebihnya ayam...
hehehe klau korang nak tau, kmi bukannya bakar habis tu satay in 1 day...
simpan ntuk hri2 berikutnya ^^...
hri ni (rabu) brulah satay tu officially habis kena makan hehe...





reaksi pembaca: hah???? habis dah?? wat's bout ur mom's bufday...dri hri tu jnji mo kasi crita kan...ape kesss ni???? stakat bout ur bufday kmi x heran lah wehh...cpat kasi crita bout ur mom!! &*^%&**%$#@!!+&*%$#


hak3 lek laa korang....sy mo crita lah ni...haizzz -_-
ready??? baa muka mata tu luas2...bersedialah ntuk stay 1 more hour to read bout it akekeke...
peace XD
--------------------------------------------------------------


24 Jan 2010 - Sunday monink - cuaca: as good as my feeling hehe


the story msti r starting from the time i woke up from bed ^^...


bgun jek dri tido trus p bersiap coz janji dgn amin
after zohor straight away p 1B beli bahan2 BBQ n oso p ambik kek...
spt yg dijanjikan, amin manage to get kreta sewa by 12pm...


smntra menanti wktu zohor...sy kol my dad ntuk memastikan plan brjlan as being plan...
haiyo dri nada my dad...he seems not so serius...mcm wat deeekkk jek...
sy risau gak la..in case kmi smpai rumah...teda plak mknan kena sedia...
thank God...abah sy ckp sumenye beres...

mak sy dah siap dah prepare nasi ayam tu...
cume dia ckp ayam mcm x ckup jek coz my mom msak sekor...
time tu sy x kisah sgt coz just 3 of us jek yg jdi join...ct n mas cancel last minute...
so rasanya ckup2 laah lauk tu ntuk kmi 3 hehe...
then sy inform abah sy yg kmi maybe smpai dlm jam 3 mcm tu...
my dad ask nape x brtolak awal?
huhu kek pnya psal ler...
bakery tu mention kul 1 lebih bru kek smpai...
so OTTOOKAY??

orait spt yg dijanjikan...
sy pun bersiap n waiting for amin at the bus stop...
x lama then amin pun show up with viva...
hoho ekceli quite kekok coz duk sblah amin yg tgh driving...
most of the time kmi byk diam jek...
hehe blum adapt lgi...
our 1st destination 1B~

smpai2 jek kmi trus p giant...
capai troli n zzuuupppp spntas kilat kmi mncari sayap ayam n beverages...
hoho not forget "double tape" yg abah sy krim akeke...
at first kmi x jmpa any chicken wings...
haizz pelik gak...x kan ler xde lngsung...
dah puas kmi cari area "cold stuff"...
tp yg ade just stuff like hotdogs n nuggets...
aikk mana pegi sume chicken wings??
smntara still mncari, kmi bantai jek ambik some packets of hotdogs...
then amin dgn slamber badaknye borong bbrapa "ketul" daging...
hak3 which later become "big usikan" by my mom haizzz....
sabar yee amin hehehehe....

stlah hmpir putus asa cari chicken wing tu...
at last jmpa pun...
cisss kat situ rupanya it situated...
dekat dgn area ikan2 haha...
haiyoo nama jak slalu p giant tp still blum mahir dgn selok belok giant ^^

pas slesai memborong d giant...
sy p ambik kek while c amin p betulkan jam dia...
hehe thanks to him coz dpt small kalendar gmbar Nicholas =_=
smntra waiting for amin sy pun p r tapau 2 waffle chicken flos coz dah lapar yg tramat sgt...
if mau mkn d rumah lama lgi kena tnggu hehe...
aisey tp ekceli nyesal gak beli waffle tu coz x psal2 kmi kekenyangan biler smpai rumah...
x psal2 skit jek kmi jamah nasi ayam tu...

rasanya dlm kul 2 gak ler kmi start brtolak dri 1B n menuju ke PAPAR...
time tu sy busy text c edith n ask her be ready...
memandangkan hri makin lewat, amin pun speed up his driving...
smpai2 jek d papar, kmi p fetch miss edith first...
hehe nasib nda kena marah kaw2 leh c amin...
coz sy lmbat bg signal msuk smpang rumah edith...
hehehe peace ^^

pas ambik edith, snggah pekan papar jap p beli ice....
aisey susah2 jek sy p beli..rupa2nya my dad oredi bought it...

hoho masa omost smpai rumah...
sy saje2 je kol my mom ntuk tinjau situation hik3...
mmg my mom didnt syak anything...
masa mak sy crita sal abah sy yg brabis suh dia msak nasi ayam tu, sy just tahan2 jek mo tergelak...
well not bad gak lakonan my dad kan hehe...
mase kol tu, my mom tnya sy katne...
sy just ketawa jak...
then my mom ckp ler...
"hah ni mesti g merayap lgi kan...maklumlah byk duit"
sy pun ckp ler "hehe maa ni mcm tau2 jek...ala sy jln2 kk jek"
padahal time tu mmg dah nak smpai rumah dah pun akeke...
tp yg x bleh blaa nye mak sy ckp dia nak tido coz penat giler...
lgipun c pahmi pun dah tido...
aisey parah rr mcm ni...kang x jdi plak plan kmi...
tp nasib ler time kmi smpai tu...my mom bru jek start mo tido hoho...

ekceli masa masuk smpang ke rumah sy tu...
2 things yg buat sy nebes...
1st mesti r bout my mom...hehe really2 cant wait to see her reaction...
2nd coz dat is the 1st time c amin p rumah...hehe segan gak ler...coz rumah sy tu just kuaters kilang biase2jek...takde la besar mana =_= hope he dun mind...c edith plak oredi penah jejak kaki p rumah sy n siap brmlam lgi...

jengx3 the most suspen part....
after btol2 smpai dpn pintu rumah...
sy ckp kat dorang yg i'll be out first n then dorang follow d blakang...
hehe sy pun dgn snyap2 p mengintai through celah2 pintu...
time tu oredi nmpak my mom yg agak curious n trtnya2 sape plak yg dtg coz dia dgr bnyi enjin kreta...
then sy pun  buka pntu luas2 n say...
MAAAA~!!!
hahahaha yeesssss~!!!! the most success bufday suprise dat i ever handle....
mmg mak sy terkezzzuuuttt giler tgk kdtgan kmi...abah sy plak just senyum2 duk d krusi...



then kmi pun angkut ler brg2 bawa p dapur...
pastu, me n edith tlg mak sy hidang nasi ayam whereas mak sy prepare bhn ntuk BBQ...
hehe smpat lgi kena perli..."kononnya suprise bufday ntuk maa...tp maa juge yg penat prepare bhan masakn" haha nak wat camne...dah anak maa ni mmg fail skit bab2 dapur ni ~_~

smntra tu, c amin plak layan borak with my dad d ruang tamu...
hik3 hope he'll be just fine...
mak sy ckp x pyah la risau dgn c amin tu...
klau dia diam abah diam ler..
x kan kena soal byk punyer lah...
hak3....
tp mmg amin ade ckp yg abah sy ni mmg pendiam orgnya...
tak byk ckp...tp overall ok lah...dri dpur sy dgr mcm rancak gak dorang 2 borak...