WeLcoMe To mY wOrLd

Who says our English is teruk? Just see below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective etc...



1.WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.


Malaysians: No Stock.


2. RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?


Malaysians: Hello, who page?


3. ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY 

Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?


Malaysians: S-kew me


4. WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.


Malaysians:No-need, lah.


5. WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?


Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?


6. WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.


Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!


7. WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money...


Malaysians: Where got?


8. WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.


Malaysians: Don't want la...


9. IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.


Malaysians: You mad, ah?


10. WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.

Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.


Malaysians: Shut up lah!

11. WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.

Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?


Malaysians: See what, see what?


12. WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.

Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.


Malaysians: Die-lah!!


13. WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED

Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?


Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that....

14. WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,


Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!!



15. WHEN ONE IS ANGRY

Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me


Malaysians: Celaka u






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Ermmm beza gurl dgn laki hahaha tak bleh bla btol~!!




NICKNAMES:



* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.


* If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT:

* When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.


* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
 (haha erm sort of true)

MONEY:


* A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.


* A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
(keh3 agree~ baa nafsu pompuan..camna jga~)


BATHROOMS:


* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .


* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
(hak3 tidaklah smpai byk camtu...yg pnting mmg confirm byk dri laki ^^)


ARGUMENTS:


* A woman has the last word in any argument.


* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
(hehe sorry~ pompuan mmg pantang mengalah)


FUTURE:


* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. (true~!!)


* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.




SUCCESS:


* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.


* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
(hahaha yeahhh)




MARRIAGE:


* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.




DRESSING UP:


* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.


* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 
 (man~ u guys so simple~ haha)


NATURAL:


* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.


* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.




OFFSPRING:


* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. 


* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 (Lol kuang asam btol!!)













credit to: akusempoi.blogspot