WeLcoMe To mY wOrLd

hmmm juz came back from cafe...
guess wat...my emosional terganggu rite now...
am i really that annoying??
am i really that sensitive?
am i really easily mood swing?
maybe from others perspective, sume prtnyaan di atas can
be answer as YES...

but to me...it's normal wat...
sume org ade waktu2 "critical" in which during the period,
the person can easily get irritated with people's words...
someone penah ckp yg setiap manusia ade prinsip masing2...
and others shud respect that...

i juz dun get it why some people love to condem bout my interest...
can be said that sume benda yg sy suke,
yg sy minat msti dpt kritikan from others...
is it i'm really suck in music?? am i really that buta seni?
am i really that suck in judging people??
sometimes, fine...i can accept that, this is juz a jokes...
but if omost everyday, telinga sy trpksa menadah all those kritikan...
hati sepa yg tak panas kan...

huh back to the real topic...
ekceli mase d cafe td,
sy tersentap dgn kata2 seseorang...
pda awalnya everything juz fine...
elok jek kmi berborak...
tp suddenly someone tegur bout music yg sy psg...
i juz dun get it..is it a sin to like artist?
if u r the one with prinsip dat minat2 artist ni sume juz wasting time...
that's ur prinsip...i can respect ur prinsip but why cant u?
when u realize i oredi trasa with ur words, instead of mention bout
"mood swing" or "sensitive", is it hard to juz say a word sorry...
sape yg tak marah biler tgh hot, ditegur lgi sbgai moody...
if u in my place, u oso will feel the same thing...
jz now u leave with an angry face, n u think i didnt realize it?
when u act like that, its make me more sad n feel brsalah...

yesterday....
it's kinda weird bcoz ur jokes / usikan lain dri biasa...
for me its more like condem me...
i realize that u'll be more nicer to me if there is juz 2 of us...
if there is lots of people, u'll be the 1 that condem me...
but i know ur niat is juz to play2 only n not really mean it...
i oredi get used bout that...
most of the time i'll fight back (if mood really good)...
but sometimes i tend to juz keep quiet...
bcoz i know if i fight back, things will getting worst...
i juz want u to know, when i keep quiet...
it doesnt mean yg i'm angry with u...
i juz dun want things to bcome lebih teruk...

and bout the pulau trip...
although u said mmg x jdi n its not been influence by my decision...
i still can sense that u feel dissapointed
bcoz i dun wan to follow the trip...
its not becoz i dun wan to go...
i luv to...but now its not a suitable time...
somemore result still havent come out yet...
and i really dun have mood to enjoy...

hahaha wat a boring gurl i am...
org ajak p sana tak nak...org ajak p sini tak nak...
but then, u oso owez said that sy ni suke sgt follow...
when u ask me to make decision, in most of the case,
i like to said  "ikut kmu jek laa"...
well i acknowldege that u quite rimas with that...
coz each time pun kmu yg kene decide sume prkara...
bile decision x ngam...kmu jga yg kene salah...
hmm seingat sy, if sy follow others decision,
i'll not salahkan pihak tu if the decision is wrong...
but if sy penah buat mcm tu...sorry...i didnt mean it...

so, ottukay??
itulah sy...
i'm a simple gurl...
boring....
sensitif...
low self-esteem...
sometimes can be quite laser...
dunno how to jga prasaan org...
tend to make people angry...
bikin panas....
slalu mnyusahkan org...
emo...
slalu buat muka...
stress memanjang...
dun think before act...
easy to say ---->  i'm a bad gurl...

see...i oso know my kelemahan....
i want to change but dun expect me to change 100%...
its take time...
but i'll try my best to become a good n reliable person...
a person that can stand on my own feet...
a strong gurl...
tidak mudah mengalah n fight for my rite...

i think that's all i want to say...
sorry if this entry menyebabkan ade pihak trasa...
sy x marah..juz wan to tell that's wat i feel...
special sorry to someone that slalu affected with my action...
juz wanna u to know...nobody is perfect...
everyone make mistakes because by making mistakes we learn how to improve...
sorry for everything...

p/s: huuu really scare to wait for result tomorrow...hope that we all can pass...however, if any of us or me really cant make it...dun be upset...juz take it as a challenge...as a way to improve ourself...because Allah know what is the best for us...sume yg terjadi pasti ade hikmah disebaliknya...have faith and tawakal =) Ya Allah, semoga setiap usaha yang kami curahkan akan memperoleh hasil yang setimpal...moga yang terbaik untuk kami semua Ya Allah....aminnnn