Ehem...hmm first of all...i wanna say soooooorrryyyyy to Mr Muhd Amin Ghazali coz these few days i oredi misundertood bout him...haizzz really2 sorryy k...hope u dun mind wat i had mention in previous post...coz its all bullshit haha...as wat u claimed ^^ minta maaf bebanyak...sy btol2 tak sengaja....
okay...before sy crita wats ekceli yg trjadi...
i wanna to inform u guys yg me n him oredi bebaik...
its happen secara officially on 27 april 2010...
well, i ekceli didnt expext yg all these things...
all these mess can happen n resolved dlm sekelip mata...
i tot it definitely will take moooooreeee times for all these to be settle down...
and i oso tot dat our relationship might not be as close as before...
coz, if pikir balik ape yg trjadi...i really did a huge mistake oo...
but i'm really2 glad and syukur kat Allah swt coz our friendship still can be save...
hmm i guess u guys oredi knew rite wat happen before this...
lets me recap back...
------------------------------------------------------------------
last week can be a tough week for him n oso for me (coz been treat coldly by him haha)...
i tot he down bcoz still upset with the result thing...
but i'm ekceli wrong...
there's sooo many things happen to him lately...
n he really in da middle of problem...
i really didnt know bout dat...
he act coldly coz he dun want me to tegur him...
dat period he just wish to be alone...
true...sy mmg tak brani nak tegur dia if nmpak dia garaaannng btol...
sy start to sense yg dia mcm nak menjauhkan dri from me
masa celebration bufday alynn hri khmis lalu...
seriusly, he dun even look at me n interact with me...
huhu me plak really dunno wat is ekceli happen?
why he treat me like dat?
where did i do wrong?
sume tu asyik bermain-main d fkiran sy...
but time tu still ok laa dpt kwal emosi...
then keesokan harinya, 23 april 2010...
haha dats shud be a hepi day for me oso coz dats officially sifu's bufday...
but sorry sifu...dats ekceli my bad day...
the worst day ever!!
pda tarikh tu lah i totally loss my mind haizz...
sy start to slah paham with all his status...
i tot it's all belong to me huhu...
ekceli dat day me ada post status mention sal
" I miss the moment u tease me...ur laugh...bla bla bla..."
mmg status tu refer to him...
sy x tujuan jahat pun masa post status tu...
teda niat oso mo cari publisiti murahan...
i juz express wat i feel at dat time...
coz i dun get it why he treat me coldly these few days??
i really miss the old him..dats all...
pastu, tak lama after me post status tu...
he started to post so many status...
sume status tu mmg berbaur yg hot2 pnya...
at first sy juz ignore jek...
coz feel like takde kaitan dgn sy...
tp bila bca status dia psal "i'm da 1 who do the explanation...bla bla bla"
ok...i guess its sure related to me...
then, he change again his status n dis time sy btol2 tersentap ler..
when he mention yg "for some reasons, i hate u!!"
huhuhu time tu sy dok fkir...
is it really refer to me?
am i'm the one dat he hates?
tp dlm hati kuat mngatakan its not me...
maybe someone else...
but i'm still confius coz previous days he oredi treat me coldly...
pastu, i received msg through fb from him...
he mention dat he dun wan me to send him all those kata2 semangat...
coz its only make him feel sick and weak...he oso mention dat he dun wan
me to give him sympathy...
huhu ayat pling kick...he wish me to enjoy my holiday...
yg membuatkan ayat tu kick biler dia tmbah ayat "u genius"
huhu pas baca jek msg tu...
i start to cry...
then all the status berlegar-legar di fikiran sy...
somemore, he oredi return back all the notes dat he borrowed b4 this....
so, sy trus buat conclusion yg, its true dat he really hates me...
i really2 feel down dat time...
i juz dun get it, sy dibenci dikala sy ingin membantu dia...
coz i dunno to who i shud share my prob...
i express it through blog...
the entry entitle "he hates me"
i oredi delet the post oo...
haha i guess only chalen n him yg smpat baca...
huhu ekceli dri situ lah chalen know bout dis n she msg me
to ask bout the matter...
so sy pun crite lah kat chalen wats happen...
then biler chalen ade mention psal pngalaman dia b4 this...
i keep on crying coz its sad to think people dat i trust...
dats ekceli really importance to me started to hate me bcoz of dis matter only?
for me...its not worth at all...
seems like our friendship not so important to him...
dats ekceli wat i think at that time...
then timbullah psal crita "hypokrit" ni...
its true, dia takde pun ckp sy hypokrit...
tp, seems sy oredi start to slah pham with all his status...
sy pun assume laa yg dia anggap sy hypokrit...
sy assume yg...
"dia anggap sy juz pretend to care bout him...
all kata2 smgat tu x ikhlas lgsung..i do it bcoz i feel sympathy with him..."
but seriusly...sy btol2 ikhlas dlm beri kata2 tu sume...
there's no such thing to merendahkan dia...
i'm trying to give him semangat...not look down at him...
(dats why i really dun get it, if he hates me bcoz of dis)
but i'm ekceli not so good in berkata-kata...
really sorry coz my words ekceli make u feel more sick......
sy tak sengaja...from now on i'll be more careful with my words...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
k berbalik pda crita chalen td...
i ekceli feel much better after luahkan ape yg sy rasa with chalen...
she's gave me support n kata2 semangat...
then i feel ok skit...
tq ye chalen...
huhu then i didnt expect she's talk bout dat in her blog...
sorry....
sorry to amin and to chalen....
amin....sorry coz sebab sy yg mula2 salah paham, dats why chalen oso slah paham dgn kmu jga...i admit that dlm entry chalen tu ade crite something bad bout u...bgi pihak chalen, sy mnta maaf byk2...chalen x slah...as friend she's juz concern bout me...hope u dun angry with her...if nak mrh jz mrh sy jek...coz sy yg telah mngeruhkan lgi keadaan...
chalen...sorry coz drag u into this matter...
i'm really bad at dis rite?huhu hontou2 gomenasai...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
the next day 24 april 2010...
thanks god yg sy still bleh lgi kawal my emosi...
i mean.. i still can fokus on the performance matter...
haha i play the gong maa for the mongunatip...
dat nite will be the performance...
pagi tu kmi spatutnya ada praktis jam 9...
huhu but me n sifu terlajak tido smpai dkat jam 10...
brabis edith n epin kol...
coz they all waiting for us to praktis...
sy time bgun tu mmg not in da gud mood...
msa kmi pgi praktis, muka sy mmg msam mencuka...
edith san ingat sy mrah dkat dia coz dia pksa kmi trun praktis...
haha no la edith...
i down coz of my problem...
not bcoz of u =)
then hbis praktis sifu ajak p cafe...
u know wat...
msa smpai cafe tu, dari jauh...i oredi saw u at the counter...
so sy pn sngaja jlan n lalu jalan yg agak jauh from u...
coz i afraid dat u will saw me too..
ekceli sifu pelik tgk cra sy jalan time tu...
she did ask me but i jz ignore her haha...
but now, i bet sifu oredi know the reason kan...
then msa kmi nak bertolak p hotel...
kmi kene suh brkumpul d bstop jam 3...
but yet still rmai yg lmbat...dkat 3.20 bru smpai...
hmm tp mmg bus dtg dlm kul 3.20 jga pun...
huhu nasib ler time tu me n sifu decide tnggu dpan dewan
coz d bstop time tu byk anjing...
haha guess wat happen if we wait there...
for sure we'll be meet...
hmm msa tgh lepak2 tnggu dorang ed sume...
suddenly nmpak siti berlari menuju bstop...
ok...means siti yg urus transport kmi...
if siti ada...amin oso will be there...
huhu feel like dun wan to go oo...
i really hate to see his "fierce look"...
plus yesterday pnya problem...
i really2 scare to brhadapan dgn dia....
well, mmg spjg prjalanan n spjg the event...
kmi 2-2 buat2 invisible...
act like we dunno each other...
haha its really suck!
i really hate that moment!
hmm then after finish the event...
i receive one more status from him...
he claimed bout "indon people are so nice..at least nicer than people who ekceli not"
hahaha dat nite although i oredi promiss sifu not to cry anymore, yet i still crying...
really cant tahan anymore...when?when he will stop to post such things? it's really hurt to think bout that...
mlm tu i cry till i fall asleep...
huhu i omost cancel plan to go out with sifu n edith on the next day...
coz feel like really2 dun have mood to outing...
we plan to outing dlm tgh hari mcm tu...
coz for sure dat day kmi sume akan bngun lmbat,penat with persembahan smlm...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
huh weird!
sy bngun awal pgi tu...
i woke up before 8 i guess...
i tried to sleep again but cant...
so i woke up n try to online...
damn..still cant access fb...
so i check chalen's blog for any update...
got...i read it...
at first she's talk bout ANTM...
when i read till end...
ade jga she selitkan bout the matter...
huhu when i read it...
i cry again...
then...i feel like wanna to do another entry...
"thanks for everything!" dats my new entry...
erm oso been deleted...coz it's really memalukan!!
in the entry, i really express my feeling very well...
mmg emo yg melampau-lampau...
i hope wats happen is juz a dream...
i oso still confusing why he hates me so much?
then i thanks him , bcoz of him i pass...
and sorry to him. bcoz i cant help him much on his study...
ayat yg paling kejam....
haiz which i think really2 can break our friendship...
mmg brani mati oo sy ungkap ayat tu...
hmm cant help oredi...coz i really2 down at that time...
before i end my entry with ayat yg kejam tu,
i repeat again bout wat he said
"FOR SOME REASONS, I HATE U!"
nak tau ape yg sy blas...
"FOR SOME REASONS, I WISH I DIDNT EVEN KNOW U!"
wuuuu so damn cruel kan...
ekceli i really dissapointed with him dat time...
i cant believe yg sy dibenci oleh kwn baik sy sndri...
its really suck!
dats why ler bleh terkeluar ayat keramat tu...
haha guess wat...
he did read my blog dat day...
i bet he might feel soooo angry with me ^^
wth??diz freak psycho oredi out of point hahaha
dat day, plan outing still on...
kmi 3 outing dlm kul 2 mcm tu...
msa nak trun p bstop tu, trsrmpak PJ yg bru balik tournament boling...
hoho dorang amin oso ada join tournament tu...
glad that i didnt join...
PJ did kol me n sifu nite b4 and ask us to join...
since it is boling...
boling=amin
for sure he will be joining...
so it must be akward if i join kan...
so once again i have to mengecewakan PJ haha...
gomen...
bdw, i quite enjoy the outing...
edith san did blanja us eat at old town...
arigatou edith...
then sifu treat for Kbox...xie xie...
pastu kmi byk buat window shoping jek...
edith did bought so many things...
novel...foods..sweater...
haha weird...coz b4 this edith the 1 yg halang us from over shoping...
but lain plak jdi hri tu...
kmi 2 plak juz biar jek coz think, bukan slalu pun edith bershoping...
takpelah...biar jek...bgi can hehe...
overall, i'm quite happy can hang out with them...
at least i can lupakan my problem for a while...
ekceli msa outing tu, i did received 2 new status of him...
msa bca tu, hmmm pelik jga...
he did mention bout..
"smtms, dun gv hndkerchief to person who r crying...bla bla bla...i need some time for my self"
i'm sure the status refer to me...
huhu i did it so many times...i owez "kacau" him during time he wan to be alone...
when he didnt layan me...i'm the 1 plak yg trasa with him...
haizz slalu pun jdi mcm tu...sooorryyy...
dis time i know oredi...
i'll be more careful...
gomen...
then another status arrived...
"nothing related to u...its jz bout 1/2 post...others is for some1 else"
erm erm i start to confius again...
did he mention bout me?
wat he meant by that?
huhu did i misunderstood anything?
mlm tu kmi 3 brjalan kaki balik hostel...
bus shuttle hntar smpai library jek haizz..
i still remember...dat time kmi lalu depan DC...
ekceli msa tu, me n sifu ask edith to psang mp3...
tgh2 edith psang lgu, my phone ring...
means there is msg arrived...
edith san ingat sy mo lawan dia pnya lgu haha...
OMG...
my heart feel like mo tercabut when i saw his name appear...
i start to read his msg...
so damn long...
sifu oredi sense there's smthng wrong with me...
but i juz act cool...coz dunno how to explain with her during dat time...
OMG!!!
can u all imagine...
I'm so damn genius coz do my own conclusion w/o clarified things clearly...
ekceli, all the status bout "benci2" tu not belong to me...
mybe jz 1/2 post only dat related to me...
huhuhu wat have i done?????
i oredi did a huuuuuugeeeeee mistake coz i misunderstood bout him....
wat i know, i shud msg chalen n ask her to edit her blog coz wats happening is jz slh paham only...
huhu really feel sorry to chalen coz oredi cause problem to her...
and i oso oredi cause big2 problem to amin...
sooooryyyyyyyyyyyyyy bebanyak T.T
in his msg, he did mention he ekceli in da middle of problems..
many problems...
(huhu i'm supposely the 1 dat he think can understand his situation,
yet cause another problem to him...sorryy)
he oso mention he wan to strugle alone n dun wan all the times depends on me...
huhu i feel like crying when he mention dat, if i wish to break my friendship with him...
he will be just fine cause he said people will never be friend with idiot...
(damn damn!! wat have i done???i oredi make things bcome worst!!
huhu i think bcoz of my stupidity, he definitely will hates me after this...
ooohh nooo....i will losing him....if our friendship ruined...its all bcoz of me!)
after i knew the whole story...
i really2 regret...
i did apologize to him...
i didnt say much coz dat time for sure he dun want to hear anything from me...
so i juz berserah n let time heal everything...
deep in my heart, i really dun wan my friendship end just like dat...
hmm but i guess dlm hal ni...
both of us ekceli mngsa keadaan...
sy slh pham pun bcoz the things happen at the same time...
things just happen sekelip mata mcm tu...
huhu so damn scary...
dat nite, after smpai jek bilik,
sy trus on laptop, online n access my blog...
immediately i delete those bullshit entry...
mmg bullshit pun haha...
i feel ashamed...
i dunno how i can berdepan with him again...
i guess it will take a long period...
for things to be settle down...
---------------------------------------------------------------
but once again i wrong!
alhamdulilah...
the next day 26 april 2010....
i received msg from him...
ekceli sy spatutnya dah balik rumah petang tu...
but sim plan to do pupuk meeting on tmrow morning...
since Dr soe aung prefer 2 gp to meet skali,
so i have to postpone n decide to go back the next day...
haha skalinya, meeting tu lgsung x jadi...
but nvm... i guess ada hikmah jga i didnt go back on monday =)
k smbung crita sal msg from him...
mlm isnin tu, i quite suprise when he ask me whether i oredi going back or not...
sy jwb ler blum n asking why?
he juz ckp saja je tnya...
then he ade mention sal dean wanna to meet with him...
ok...he now seems like ready to talk with me...n nmpak mcm he need some1 to talk to...
huhu thanks god...i tot he will never contact me again...
then i ask why dean wanna to meet him...
he said maybe asking bout "repeat year or change cos"...
huhu quite sad when he mention bout dat...
i ekceli afraid dat i will mention smthing wrong...
coz b4 this he oredi inform me he dun wan to hear words of sympathy....
hmm byk lgi yg kmi crita...
but i guess no need for me to crita all kan...
afraid dat he might want some privacy oso...
but for sure, i did apologize to him many2 times n regret with my action...
and he oso did apologize to me...
hmm miracle kan...
everything is fine now....
wat a relieved....
i feel like this is just a dream...
a nightmare for me...
really2 glad that i can tersedar from this nightmare ASAP...
ekceli mmg mlm isnin tu kmi dah bebaik...
but officialy, still on 27 april... (27 my lucky number ^^)
coz on dat day , kmi start interact face 2 face after sume ni brlaku...
hmm tell the truth, i'm really nervous to meet him yesterday...
(coz 2day oredi 28 april...haizz i wrote this entry dri jam 4am-7++ am haha psycho!)
i afraid tragedi hri tu brulang kmbali...
but guess wat...when i saw him...he smiled at me...wat a glad...
since he oredi took lunch, he juz accompany me....
msa mkn tu, as usual he do all the talking...
feel great coz i really miss dat kind of moment...
i like to hear when he start to tell story ^^
we did laugh a lot haha...
then, hbis mkn tu...
suddenly he mentioned about outing...
hmm i guess i still can make it coz my dad dkat2 maghrib bru smpai...
so, dlm jam 1 tu kmi meet again d bstop...heading to 1B >.<
aktiviti kmi mcm biase laa...
---->main boling - huhu teruk oo my performance...salah lane ni...lane 13 suiii btol haha
---->tgk wyng - we watched "the crazies" haizz mmg crazy laa tu crita...no motif...but quite enjoy it ^^
---->kbox - fun...erm syngya mo dekat2 habis msa tu, my dad oredi kol me n mention he oredi mo smpai ums...alamak diee!!! hmm last song tu dah tak brape feel nyanyi coz need to rush went back to ums...gomenne...btw ur vokal quite okay laa...dis time i give u A-...coz for me, u sing better during our previous outing =) time tu i give u A haha...
hmm, so after kbox, kmi pun rush balik...sorry coz tak smpat teman kmu mkan...i didnt expect abah sy akan smpai begitu cepat...msa dlm taxi tu, u look quite sad...huhu dun be sad...coz if u sad, i'll oso feel the same...i know u are strong....btw i really appreciate the moment kt brsama...huhu i tot i'll never have the chance to outing with u again...
p/s: take care...i'll owez pray the best for u guys...all of u definitely can make it!! do believe in urself and think positive!! btw sorry oso if ade kekasaran bahasa dlm entry ni or any part yg buat sape2 terasa...
btw wat i can learnt from all these messed...
dun jump into conclusion before we clarified things clearly...
dun be sooo emo...
do oso mind our language masa2 emo tu...
coz kerana mulut badan binasa...
somemore...
i'll not easily make my own hypothesis if suddenly he act coldly to me...
he might need time for himself n dun wan me to kacau him...
i will keep dat in mind...
once again..
minta maaf dri hujung rmbut smpai hujung kaki...
hrp sume yg terjadi ni kita jadikan iktibar...
hope our friendship can be maintain till the end...
insya'Allah...
-the end-
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment